Lusting the Loathed
by delovely
Summary: They're the Head Students..and they share a bathroom. Naturally, a series of unfortunate events occur and now they want each other. It's lust ...right? Or maybe..love? Anyways, watch as they try to overcome the sexual tension..and fail miserably at it. LJ
1. Of First Meetings

**Disclaimer**: You know what is mine and what is JKR's. 

**Author's Note**: Yes. I suck. I haven't updated in about a year. But before I can finish Chapter 10, I have to go back and edit the story. There are so many errors just bugging me and parts I want to fix. Expect Chapter 10 after I've edited all the chapters, which shouldn't be soon. Thanks for reading and enjoy!

**Lusting the Loathed**

Chapter One - Of First Meetings 

Chapter Song: Belle & Sebastian - Sleep The Clock Around

"Gosh, you're so lucky to be working with him!" Marlene McKinnon grinned as her eyes shined brightly. "I can just see it now... 'Lily Evans: Head Girl... along with James Potter: Head Boy'. It sounds like a movie title to me. I mean, you already share a room with him!" She grabbed a piece of bread and started smearing butter on it.

Lily Evans rolled her eyes. She wished Marlene would stop being such an idiot. "It probably wouldn't be a successful movie if _he_ starred in it. The way you talk, it's as if I'm going to work with a god. Yes, many may think he's handsome, but to me it's not a big deal at all. He may be somewhat good-looking, but so what? You can't judge a person only by his looks. I think I'm about the only girl at Hogwarts who _doesn't_ like him. Mar, he has an _awful_ personality. Just absolutely loathsome." She scooped some mashed potatoes on her plate.

Marlene snorted. "Get off of it, Lily. Sure, he may be mean to old Snivelly, but he does look good, am I not right?" Marlene took a swig of pumpkin juice. "Goodness, I'm starving." She and Lily were currently at the Great Hall, eating dinner. It was already the first Friday of the school year and Lily was just on her way to the first Head Students meeting of the year.

"Yes, Mar, I already said he is kind of good looking, but that's not important. Everyone is either congratulating me or glaring at me, it's getting so bloody annoying. _He _should be excited to work with _me_." Lily took a large bite of her potatoes. "I'm not too bad to look at, am I? And we don't share a room, we share a bathroom. I don't even know why we share a bathroom. It's an invasion of privacy is what it is. Ew, this needs gravy."

Marlene chuckled, causing her brown curls falling across her chocolate brown eyes, which were shining with mirth. She put an extra layer of jam on her bread and started eating it. "Of course you're not bad to look at, Lily. You're absolutely lovely. But for a seventeen-year-old girl, your self-esteem is at its very peak. We're supposed to be whining about how dreadful we look and how fat we are. Fine, you may not care for his looks, but I hear he's _smashing _in the sack."

Lily rolled her eyes. "I hate girls, _whining_ about how fat they are when they're practically sticks." She poured gravy all over her mashed potatoes and sampled it. Delicious. "And James in the sack? Ew, Mar. You've sullied my innocent brain."

"Like there was anything to sully in the first place."

"Ooh, I've got to go, I was supposed to meet James at Dumbledore's office at... seven." She finished the remains of her dinner and checked her magically-powered watch. "And... it's already a few minutes past seven. Damn, I'm late."

"Oh golly! I sure hope you have some fun, now hurry off now, can't be late for the meeting with the most gorgeous boy at our school!" Marlene faux-squealed as she buttered another piece of bread. "You should try one, they're really delicious."

Lily grimaced. "No thanks. For the first time, I really rather be late to this meeting. I really don't want to go."

"Oh, you should go. I really wouldn't want to delay you since I know you're _dying_ to work with him," Marlene winked.

"Sure, I mean, he's just so _bloody _amazing," Lily replied dryly. "I've really got to go now. See you later, Mar!"

"Bring protection!" Marlene trilled happily, waving merrily and wishing her friend good luck in her own way.

Lily scowled and ran down the hall, racing against time in order to get to Professor Dumbledore's office, hopefully not late.

"Chocolate Frog," she said promptly as she approached the gargoyle and the secluded entrance was revealed. She stepped in and exhaled slowly. No, she wasn't late... of _course_ she wasn't late... she was Lily, for god's sake!

Inside the office were a numerous amount of quirky things, scattered randomly, and all belonging to the very famous Albus Dumbledore. In the middle was Professor Dumbledore himself, sitting at his large, oak desk, with James Potter hunched by his side, listening and nodding dutifully, just like a good Head Boy would. Lily was surprised. She was expecting him to be even later than her! He was still in his Quidditch uniform and still had some sweat on his brow. From Lily's point, it showed off how tall and lean he was. Lily hated to admit it, but it was _quite_ a nice sight, but Lily would rather die a million deaths than admitting _that_ to anyone. Yes, she was stubborn and proud. His cherished and beloved broomstick was behind his back, lying silently against the wall. It was probably called something stupid, like the golden stick-made-out-of-shit. The quiet murmurs shared between Headmaster Dumbledore and James were getting faster, louder, and more excited. They were most likely making plans for the some school event, perhaps maybe a dance, even though school had just started.

Lily cleared her throat.

"Miss Evans," Dumbledore smiled, looking up. "How nice of you to finally join us."

"Sorry," Lily replied, looking embarrassed, "There were some distractions in the corridors I had to attend to."

"Sure, Evans," James scoffed, "I could make it here in less than five minutes from my last class which was on the other side of the school with today's important, and might I add, _grueling_, Quidditch practice only a mere half an hour away? And you can't even get here from, what, the Common Room after taking a nap in your comfortable and swanky dormitory?" It was this kind of talk that led Lily to loathe James. Meaningless, harmful, and _annoying_ teasing. Plus, the fact that his ego was so bloody big, she was surprised his head alone could even fit it in the room.

"Shut up, Potter," Lily muttered, shooting him a glare. "You didn't have to walk far from here."

James rolled his eyes. "Farther than the Gryffindor Common Room."

"I'm _trying_ to ignore you, can't you see?" Lily snapped and turned to Professor Dumbledore. "I'm terribly sorry for my tardiness but I'd like to get the meeting started straight away."

Dumbledore looked amused. "That's wonderful, Lily. Mr. Potter and I were discussing all the general events in the coming year. How many Hogsmeade visits, dances, and the likes. We really do need to sort out all the odds and ends. I need to leave soon to attend to other matters, but I've gone over a good deal with Mr. Potter. I would suggest that you two go over the rest of the details, if you believe you can cooperate effectively." Dumbledore gave them both a small, indulgent smile, and waited for their answer with raised eyebrows.

"We'll be fine, Professor," James answered promptly and waved the matter off with his hand. "That was just harmless bickering."

"I guess," Lily replied dully, not wanting Dumbledore to leave. But when he did leave, it was always attending important business matters.

"So I can trust you not to do each other injury?" Dumbledore asked, staring up at them from his half-moon glasses. The seriousness in his voice sounding a little forced to Lily.

"We won't. We are, after all, the Head students," Lily answered firmly. If Dumbledore had to go, then she would try to handle the situation gracefully.

"Very well," Dumbledore said as he rose, "I will be off. Good luck! You can finish your business in the Head Students room." He walked out from behind the desk and shooed them both toward the door.

"Great," James muttered they walked past Dumbledore. "We'll need it."

Lily kicked him in the ankle. "Ow!" James muttered. "Why you _little_..."

"Bye Professor!" Lily smiled brightly, waving to Dumbledore. She turned to face James as they walked to the staircase and her expression turned sour.

"Come on, Potter, let's get this damned thing over with."

"Took the words straight out of my mouth," James muttered, grabbing his broom and followed her out the door.

* * *

Lily walked into James's Head Boy room. A few years ago, they installed a Head Student's bathroom, but it was pretty pointless for the Head Students to walk from their common rooms every morning just to get to the Head Student's Bathrooms, so they installed bedrooms adjoining on opposite sides of the bathroom. It made more sense and the Head Boy and Girl were always very sensible, responsible students... so nothing foolish ever happened. Even so, the Professors programmed the rooms to have individual passwords, along with the bathroom that were changed weekly.

James's room was decent. Lily expected it to be messy, with clothes thrown over the floor, Quidditch accessories littering the bed, and trash cluttering up the room, but it was actually neat and tidy. It was much emptier than her room; every time Lily took a step, she could hear her heels click on the ground due to the lack of carpeting and furniture to absorb the noise. In fact, Lily's own room was messier. James' room was painted maroon and gold, down to the last millimeter. To Lily, it was just a little too much.

"This room is really, really maroon and gold," Lily commented in a strained voice, her eyes squinting as she paced the room. "You must take a lot of pride in Gryffindor."

James nodded. "Well, yes. I have to show lots of pride for our house, don't I? I _am _the Quidditch Captain and the Head Boy. Everyone loves the theme. Even the non-Gryffindors. Make yourself comfortable." He put his broom aside and took off his sweater, then settled onto his couch, laying there and relaxing with his eyes closed. Lily had to snap herself out of her admiration of his eyelashes to take in his words.

"We're not allowed to have visitors here, James. It's against the rules," she said sternly.

"So you've never had visitors in your room?" James asked.

Lily didn't say anything.

"Thought so. I don't care much for the rules, Lily," James responded carelessly. "I thought you already knew that."

Again, Lily didn't reply.

James smirked.

Lily rolled her eyes. "Anyways, let's get down to business. I expect you to take this job _seriously_. This is a warning, considering your past credentials. If I find you ever forgetting how important this job is, I will remind you the hard way. I am not going to be the one stuck doing everything while you bask in glory.

"Seriously, Lily, calm the bloody hell _down_. You don't have to be so angry all the time." He lay down again and stared at the ceiling. "Yes, yes, I have been slightly _careless_ in the past and I simply lack a regard for rules, in fact, I don't even know why Dumbledore chose me for this job, Remus would've been a far superior choice..."

"Are you done yet?" Lily asked, crossing her arms. "You're just pointing out all your faults and making me think twice about even accepting the post of Head Girl with _you_ as my partner."

James waggled his finger. "Lily, Lily, Lily... did I say I was done? No. Yes, I may be all those things, but that doesn't mean I won't be a fantastic Head Boy. I love Hogwarts and I want this year, our _last_, to be nothing below perfection. And _Merlin_, you're just about the only girl I know who's angry all the time. Calm down."

"I'm not angry all the time--just when I'm near _you_. So, it's really your fault." Lily settled herself into an overstuffed, maroon armchair and took out a few pieces of parchment. "Fine, it's settled. You'll be taking this job seriously. Good. I trust you love Hogwarts enough to do us some justice for our last year, so let's just get down to it--how many Hogsmeade visits should we have this year?" Lily asked. The quicker they started, the quicker they could leave.

"Every weekend," James answered promptly.

Lily rolled her eyes. "Work with me here, James, that's ludicrous. Once a month."

"Once a month? Are you joking?" James exclaimed. "That's preposterous! Every weekend, Lily."

"Once a week, James? No one would do their homework. Once a month."

"Fine, once every two weeks. And if it _was_ once a week, you'd still do your homework."

"Damn it, fine. Once every two weeks." Lily scrawled it down.

"Wow, you said '_damn it_'," James remarked, grinning.

"Yes. And now I'm going to say, 'fuck you'." Lily smiled sweetly. "Now, Halloween. Main dishes for the feast?"

James flickered with interest. "The usual meats and whatnot, but as side treats, butterbeer, definitely. And loads of candies from Honeydukes floating around, since Halloween is when all the Muggle children go around and ask for sweets. Muggle Studies _does_ come in handy sometimes."

Lily paused. "That's actually a really good idea. I _do _love butterbeer."

"Wow," James said, slightly smiling, as he scribbled down more plans. "Lily Evans complimenting me. I think hell just froze over, since you were just about oozing with anger a minute or two ago."

"Miracles can happen when you focus, James, besides, there's a very thin line between anger and happiness, just like love and hate," Lily murmured as she organized her notes. "Even though it's a good idea, we need main courses. 'The usual,' as you suggested, meaning... chicken?"

"Yes," James agreed. "Chicken. Pork, lamb, and beef, too. We should make it a really big feast. Oh, and there _must_ be loads of enchanted pumpkins with caddles in them lit up with fire. Maybe Severus will _accidentally_ set himself on fire." He grinned.

Lily shook her head. "Always thinking of yourself or some other way to torture Severus. By the way, it's _candles_. Not caddles."

"I'm always thinking about how I'm the perfect model student so the ickle firsties will look up to me," he quipped.

"Yes, James, you're setting a _example_." Lily was impatient; she wanted to get on with the plans for Halloween so she could leave. "They look at you and want to be like _you_, and they certainly won't make any wrong decisions," she laughed hollowly.

"I certainly don't. How about you, Lily? You say you don't make any wrong decisions?" James asked.

Lily was silent.

He laughed darkly. "You're funny, Evans."

"Good idea, _Potter_, let's take a step back from being on a first-name basis," Lily sneered. "Can we get back to the plans now?"

"Sure. What else do we need to talk about? Nothing too detailed? It's beginning of September while the Halloween is practically ages away. We still have lots of time."

"I'd prefer if we didn't procrastinate with this, I want it to be successful."

"As do I, Miss Evans," he replied formally, with a mock-serious bow of his head

"Good. So, butterbeer, pork, beef, chicken, and lit-up pumpkins with _candles_ inside. That's all we have so far."

James sat up. "Oh, I forgot something." He got up and walked to a rectangular shaped box in next to his bed. He opened it and threw something to Lily.

"What is this?" Lily asked, looking at the item suspiciously. It was canned and felt soothingly cold.

"Nice catch," James said as he took one of the cans for himself. "Just pop the lid and drink."

Lily opened the tab; she could hear it fizzling inside. She delicately took a sip and squealed with pleasure. "It's butterbeer!"

James nodded, still amused by Lily's childlike state, and walked back to his couch. "The one and only."

"How did you... what is this... how...?"

"Honeydukes has a secret stash of canned butterbeer in the back. I refill that damned box weekly and charmed it so it'd keep its contents cool, like a frigidter." James smiled in reminisce. "Ahh, Muggle Studies seem to be popping up everywhere today, doesn't it?"

"It's called refrigerator," Lily corrected him. "I didn't know you took Muggle Studies."

"It seemed kind of interesting, but it turned out pretty boring and was just another easy high mark."

"Well you weren't very good, forgetting _candles_ and _refridgerator_." It was so typical of James to find a way to squeeze in the topic of his schoolwork into the conversation. "Well, I'm impressed, nevertheless," Lily said and tipped her drink at him. "Thank you. This is lovely."

"You're most welcome," James replied, taking a sip. "Cheers."

"Cheers," Lily repeated. She sipped and paused for a moment. A silence was filling the air, but it was not awkward. Perhaps James wasn't as loathsome as she had thought. Perhaps he was like everyone said he was: suave, nice, charming, cute. Maybe, if she just gave him a chance…

"Well," James said, getting up and stretching slightly, "I think we've done well today. We both got out alive."

"Today was surprising, to say the least," Lily replied, smiling slightly, "but it worked out for the best. Oh, and James?"

"Yes?"

"Now that I know you have secret stash of Butterbeer hidden in your bedroom, I'll be breaking in time from time." Lily smirked. "See you."

She closed the door shut as she crossed the bathroom to get into her own room. Life was getting weirder by the moment. She had spent time with James, and he wasn't all that bad.

Lily sighed as she entered her room. Damn, and she had thought she hated James Potter–well, at least _disliked_ him–but it wasn't that hard to tolerate the prat. She had to anyway, sooner or later, since they'd be working together on the major events for school. Lily dumped her stuff onto her bed and lay down, breathing a deep sigh. Like they said, life was a bitch sometimes.


	2. Mixed Emotions

**Disclaimer**: Harry Potter belongs to J.K. Rowling; you know what is mine and what is hers.

**Lusting the Loathed**

_Chapter Two - Mixed Emotions_

Chapter Song: Maroon 5 - The Sun

Lily walked back to her room, confused, and when life got confusing, she believed it was time for a drink.

The floorplan of her room, the bathroom, and James's room was basically in a shape of an 'H'. The two vertical lines represented the bedrooms, connected with the horizontal line which represented the bathroom. There were locks in the bathroom (to both rooms) but the entrances to both rooms were all password protected which changed weekly.

Lily's room consisted of a large patterned rug with a small couch and a chair sitting upon it looking out onto a picturesque view of the lake. There was a bookshelf on the right with books, both magical and Muggle, stacked neatly on its wooden shelves. Near the entrance was Lily's mahogany desk, cluttered with parchment, quills, and an empty inkbottle that had spilled over her Transfiguration essay earlier. She must've knocked it earlier, rushing down to dinner. She sighed in exasperation. It'd taken her ages to write that essay. But she reckoned she'd just have to recopy it later. Deciding to put off cleaning it up yet again and recopying, she headed left to her closet and pushed her clothes aside to get to the very back.

Similar to James' secret stash of butterbeer, which Lily would soon be raiding, Lily had a secret stash of her own--but it was full of Muggle alcohol. It, too, was chilled in a box that Lily had charmed to be very cold. Of course, no one knew about this besides her best friend, Marlene. Just what would her peers and the staff think when they discover that their Head Girl indulges herself with alcohol? It'd ruin her. But, Lily wasn't stupid. She knew not to get smashed every night, but a drink every so often certainly wouldn't hurt anybody. She started to concoct herself a drink, getting out the ingredients and the glass. Adding a little red maraschino cherry (that she brought a jar of from home) just for the touch of personal flair--à la _Lily_, into a martini flute, she had made her trademark drink. She emerged from the closet, happy, and sat herself down next to her bed, leaning on it, and tipped the drink so she could take a small sip... it was delicious, as always. It soothed her nerves as of now. She was feeling the alcohol get to her, but only slightly. Lily wasn't a cheap drunk, it usually took more than a few drinks to get her smashed.

She had a brilliant mind and knew how to use it well. She knew dating would only distract her from her real goal--success. Sure, she had been on a few harmless dates, a fling here or there, but nothing reportedly serious. She did this to convince her fellow peers that she was indeed not a lesbian, just simply not _interested_. She enjoyed a little harmless flirting with the opposite sex, but when things started to heat up, the 'relationship' always died because, simply, Lily was not interested. She had her priorities in mind and having a boyfriend was not an important one. Of course, one day she would meet a man she'd want to marry and eventually have children... but those were plans for the future, not now. Now she just wanted to focus on her studies so she could secure a job.

She took another sip, savoring the rich taste of the vodka. She stuck her fingers in her drink and carefully picked out the maraschino cherry and bit it daintily off its stem. The combination of the cherry and vodka was the most succulent taste that Lily had ever had the pleasure of sampling. She was just starting to enjoy herself, but a voice killed the mood.

"Lily, can I borrow your Transfiguration book? I think I lost mine or Sirius or somebody took it," James called from the bathroom. Lily jumped; James was the last person she would have wanted to catch her drinking, aside from a teacher, and she had been stupid enough to leave the door open in her haste.

Lily was horrified. She quickly flung her cherry stem to who-knows-where in her room. She stared at her martini flute... now where the hell was she going to hide _that_?

"Is your room bigger than mine?" James asked as he inspected her room. He turned to Lily and had opened his mouth to speak when his eyes fell on her martini glass and widened. Panicked, Lily did the first thing she thought of: she grabbed her blanket and tried to pull it over her drink, but only managed to spill it on the carpet, leaving a colorless wet spot.

"Er... I'm not interrupting anything, am I?" James asked, taking a step back, staring at the spot. "I can always come back later."

Bloody hell. She hurried and hid the martini flute in her blanket. Her sheets were now stained with vodka... but she could always fix it later. Thank goodness the drink was transparent, so as it spilled on the carpet, it just looked like a wet spot.

"No, no!" Lily replied quickly. "I'm absolutely fine."

James smirked and inclined his head toward the spill. "And what's that wet spot right there? Next to the martini flute you just hid under your blanket?"

She stood up. "Oh, just a little water I spilled," Lily responded nonchalantly, trying to cover up her anxiety. She used the back of her hand to wipe her mouth dry. "It'll dry."

"You drink water out of martini flutes?" James raised an eyebrow and started to walk over to the wet spot. "How interesting."

If James found out she'd been drinking, Lily would be in big trouble. What if he told someone? But then again, she knew he had illegally acquired butterbeer in his room. Nevertheless, she had to think of something–quick.

"James, you really shouldn't worry! It's water, it'll dry!" Lily grabbed his arm and steered him toward her couch. "Come, sit. Relax. Make yourself at home. Whatever. I'll get you that Transfiguration book that you want. Just sit there."

"Nice couch, Evans." He stroked the couch softly, nodding his head in approval. Then he looked up and squinted. "Is your room is bigger than mine?"

Lily walked over to her large bookshelf and searched its shelves. "No, not really. It just looks like it because my room isn't decked out in maroon and gold. It's just white." She grinned. Lily motioned to her bookshelves and desk grandly and smiled. "My version of the Library here at Hogwarts." She didn't have an extra Transfiguration book (dammit) and hadn't even started on the homework, so she reckoned that James would have to use hers for now. Anything to get him out of her room! She went to go get it out of her bag, which was sitting peacefully on her chair.

"Very nice," James remarked. "So does this mean I won't have to suffer the glare of Madam Pince ever again? I can just come here for the forbidden books?"

Lily frowned. "And what makes you think I'd share those kinds of books with you?"

"I didn't know you even read those kinds of books. You must never leave your room, what with all the _water_ you have" he smirked, "and all the books you would ever need. You've got everything in here."

"I still go out!" she replied defensively. She leafed through all her assignments and many books. Ah, her Transfiguration book.

"It's okay, Evans," James smiled, brushing off her comment with a wave of his hand, "if I had a room like this, I doubt I'd leave except for classes and food."

"Oh, I plan to be leaving _loads_ of times to have some of that butterbeer you've hidden."

"Hey, you're welcome into to my room anytime, darling." James smirked. "_Anytime_."

Lily chucked the book at him, glaring icily, but James' Quidditch reflexes enabled him to catch it before it smacked him square on the nose. "Thanks, I'll give it to you when I'm done," he replied casually. "Hey, what is it that I'm sitting on?"

Then, to Lily's continued horror, he pulled out a faded, dilapidated paperback book from between the cushions of the couch. It was a romance book called _Sheer Desires_ that Lily had lost the other day. Now it was found, and by the worst possible person. James looked gleeful when he saw the cover.

"James, DON'T!" Lily shrieked, lunging for the book, her arms outstretched. She fell on top of him, and both were breathing hard as James' grip on the book released. It put them in quite a pickle. Seizing the moment, James leaned forward, his lips moving closer to hers.

Lily's mind was screaming with rage. James was leaning closer and closer. Her heart was beating and everything was getting very fuzzy...all she could see was his lips. She was very aware of his lips. His lovely, beautifully shaped lips... she _longed_ to touch them...

Those lips were so, so desirable... Lily just stared at them imploringly, deciding what in bloody hell she was going to do about this drastic situation. Her lips were drawn to his, and letting her sweet sorrows drown in guilty pleasure, Lily leaned forward.

But reality struck her, and she stopped. His breath was beating lightly against her face and Lily recognized it smelled vaguely of warm butterbeer and chocolate, which made the situation even more alluring than it already was. They were, after all, the Head students. They could never risk fooling around.

But, Lily swallowed very hard and leaned back, got off of James, took the book, and stood up. James looked quite ridiculous there on the couch, with his eyelids shut, and his lips pouted, ready to kiss. Lily couldn't help but giggle at his position.

His eyes snapped open and a pale magenta lightly tinged both of his cheeks. "Um, thanks for the book," he mumbled. "I think I'll go now." He was _embarrassed_! Beneath Lily, he removed himself from the couch and headed toward the bathroom door.

"Yeah, um..." Lily flustered, trying to shake off this unfamiliar feeling of awkwardness. She slowly got up and walked him to the door.

Before leaving through the door, James purposefully turned back around and smirked that smirk of his that made Lily squirm with irritation. James Potter wasn't one who got embarrassed or rejected. No, no, no. He was the one who pranked and embarrassed _others_. Not the other way around. "I'll keep your little martini incident between us two. I could smell the alcohol immediately after I walked into the room, but nice try at covering it up. Too bad I'm smarter than that. Oh, and that book? _Sheer Desires_ was it? Sounds saucy." With that, he closed the bathroom door in her face.

James praised himself smugly as he trudged back to his room, pushing back dejected feelings and cringes at the thought of him being rejected by Lily. To recover, he told himself firmly that it'd never happened.

Lily, stunned, stood there in silence for a few moments. Something was different. It felt different. She was known around school for being confident and keeping her composure. Why couldn't she do the same in front of James? She was disappointed with herself for falling for his mind games and stupid smirks. Lily sighed to herself deeply, trying to console herself with the fact that her secret would be safe with James. After all, he had a secret stash of Butterbeer in his room; he wouldn't dare tell. And if he did, Lily would do the same to him. They were even, and Lily hated that fact. She had to find something juicy about him so she could tip the score back in her favor.

Lily trekked back to her couch and plopped onto it. She remembered looking deep into James' hazel eyes, feeling so blissfully happy and lost. But, she shook off the prickling feeling, feeling forlorn and lost. She didn't know what do at _all_. Suddenly, James was looking all shiny and brand spanking new to her. She shivered. God knows she needed some rest after such a confusing afternoon. She was comforted by the softness of her couch and how comfortable it really was. She knew it was sad, spending her Friday night alone on her couch, feeling lonely as hell. Soon, she could feel all her feelings fly away and she fell asleep, lost in her thoughts.

Hours and hours later, a (slightly) snoring Lily was awoken up by the high-pitched giggles of unmistakably three girls, banging loudly on the door.

"Yoo-hoo! Oh, Lily, darling! Open (hic) up, please!" A shrill voice beckoned through the door. Several more distinct knocks on the wooden door could be heard. "We don't know the password!"

Lily groaned. What time is it? She fell asleep on the couch. Groggily, she got up and walked over next to her bed and stared at her clock. 7:30. Who dare woke up Lily Evans at 7:30 on a Saturday morning? Thinking vicious thoughts, she stumbled towards the door and opened it.

"SURPRISE!" the voices shrieked, giggling hysterically.

Lily's eyes widened in surprise and her brain registered what was happening. "Shut up!" she hissed as quietly as she could. "Hurry up and get in, _now_!"

"L-Lily... why are you (hic) getting so worried for?" Andromeda Black screeched while laughing maniacally.

"I know! It's only... Wednesday?" Samantha Nichols guessed as she laughed merrily.

Lily couldn't take it anymore and pulled them all inside. They were, obviously, drunk. And Lily knew they were sloshed because their breath was _bad_ and they were heavy as hell. She took her time, pulling and dragging each one in, and it was even harder because none of them were cooperating.

Somehow, Lily managed to get all three, smashed ladies onto her bed, with a little help from her wand.

"Why the _hell_ are you guys drunk? And especially on a Saturday morning?" Lily demanded, crossing her arms over her chest, hoping they'd give her a straight answer but she knew that probably wouldn't. She could feel a lecture coming on.

"Lily, I (hic) love you! You're the best (hic) fucking friend ever!" Marlene shrieked hysterically, giggling, falling off the bed, and collapsing onto the floor in a laughing heap. She was _so_ drunk; Lily wouldn't be surprised if Marlene got permanent brain damage from all the liquor she consumed.

Lily was prepared to give them a full-lecture on responsible drinking but as she stared at Andromeda and Samantha, she hoped they weren't as intoxicated as Marlene was and hoped for some soberness to shine through, but she was wrong. Before Lily could even open her mouth to lecture them angrily or even shake her finger at them, all that Andromeda and Samantha could do was laugh... and laugh... and laugh...


	3. Unpleasant People

**Disclaimer**: Harry Potter belongs to J.K. Rowling; you know what is mine and what is hers.

**Author's Note**: Goodness gracious, many apologies for the long wait. This chapter is a bit shorter than usual, I'm sorry! I'm having a bit of a block (hence the very, very late delay) but the next chapter is all planned out. I promise.

**Lusting the Loathed**

_Chapter Three - Unpleasant People_

Chapter Song: Incubus - Drive

Lily couldn't help but feel left out after finding out that Samantha, Marlene, and Andromeda went drinking without her. Yes, she herself had been drinking, but she was doing it by _herself_. She felt it was a blatant attempt to isolate herself from them... more than she already was. After being elected Head Girl, she'd been spending less and less time with them. But could they really blame her? With all her new duties and the pile of seemingly never-ending homework, how would she even have time to 'fit them in'?

Honestly, sometimes she just felt like ditching her Head Girl position, curse all the professors, and snog the first guy she saw.

Fat chance of _that_ happening, however.

She knew it. She was losing her _drive_. Her will to be perfect and the top of her year. What was _wrong_ with Lily? Why couldn't she go back to being herself? The girl who finished all her homework, _never_ procrastinated, and was praised by all the teachers?

Somehow, Lily knew that girl was inching away and away each passing day. She could just... make the best of it for now. Realizing this truth, she heaved a sigh and stared at the pile made up of three beautiful girls, all equally passed out and heaped in a pile, one on top of the other, snoring peacefully.

She heard a sharp knock at her door.

Lily cursed mentally. Whoever it was knocking, the Head Girl caught with her three drunken friends heaped in pile in her room would not look good.

"Uh, I'm coming!" Lily yelled quickly, trying to think of a way to get rid of them. She was the Head Girl of Hogwarts; surely, she could come up with a solution.

Then it clicked. An invisibility charm! Lily brandished her wand and murmured, "_Evanesco_."

The pile containing Lily's best friends disappeared instantaneously. Lily couldn't be happier.

"Lily, it's James! I don't need your Transfiguration book anymore, I found mine. Sirius nicked it the night before and didn't want to give it back because he spilled ink all over it," James cried irritably from the door, "but if you don't want to open the door, or you're not there, or whatever, I'll just leave it here."

"No, really, James! I'm coming!" Lily shouted.

She rushed over to her mirror and ran her hands through her auburn hair, trying to make herself presentable, even as she wondered why she cared how she looked to James Potter. She fluffed her hair, straightened out her clothes and ran to her bathroom door.

"Sorry," Lily said, out of breath.

James was just returning to his side of the bathroom, but he turned around once he heard Lily's voice. "Locked your door, now, huh?" He seemed slightly disappointed.

"Not to shock you or anything, you did quite surprise me. What if I was... naked or something? We wouldn't want that happening now, would we?" Lily asked, crossing her arms and leaning on a cabinet, filled with fluffy, white towels.

"Well, now that you mention it..." James started, looking mischievous.

"No, I'm keeping this door locked," Lily said firmly, with a hint of a grin. James wanted to see her naked. Actually, as soon as Lily thought about, he probably wanted to see _all_ girls naked. "Now, I think we should establish some ground rules to keep ourselves in check here and to ensure our own privacy. For both our sakes."

"Goodness, Lily," James asked satirically as he sat on the tub. "Why so strict all of a sudden?"

She shrugged uncomfortably, fumbling with a one of the towels sticking out. "It would be all... weird..."

"Weird?" James inquired. "What would be weird?"

Lily swallowed. "Um, if... the Head students got... too close, I guess."

"It'd be great. Shame, though." James shook his head. "Ah well, Lily. Whatever makes you comfortable."

Lily smiled appreciatively... but still felt awkward. "Thanks."

"I'll make it a habit of knocking. No more barging in, I swear," James promised, standing up.

"Good," Lily replied, pushing the towel fully in. "I'll keep my door unlocked then."

"Nice," James grinned.

Lily rolled her eyes.

"Well, uh..."

"I've got to run," Lily answered.

"Me too," James agreed.

"Bye." Lily rushed out and slammed the door closed.

She exhaled, hoping it wasn't too drastic of an exit.

"Fuck, that was close," Lily muttered to herself as she returned to her room.

She heard murmurs, bangs, and all sorts of curses. It was probably Marlene, Andromeda, and Samantha... and they've probably _all_ realized they were lying on top of each other. Lily hoped they hadn't thrown up. That would've been a gruesome and nasty sight to clean up, even with a wand. Realizing her three loving friends were still invisible, she cancelled her invisibility spell.

"Ah, fuck, you made us invisible, Lils?" Marlene asked.

"I thought we Apparated or something," Samantha grinned.

"_Merlin_, my head hurts," Andromeda groaned.

"It's called a hangover," Lily informed her. "And you can't Apparate on Hogwarts grounds! How many times have I told you?"

"We know, we _know_," Andromeda replied irritably.

"Well, you guys woke up fast," Lily commented dryly. "Any idea as to why you guys show up at my room on a Saturday morning?"

"Since you're the bloody Head Girl now, we figured you'd be up," Samantha slurred.

"Yeah, cause you guys _woke_ me up. Well, I think you guys should just take a quick nap or something. You guys obviously cannot leave here right now like..._this_. You're obviously still drunk and you guys can't even form a sentence without slurring! Who _knows_ what sorts of trouble you'll get yourselves into!" Lily replied indignantly. She shuddered to think of the Head of Gryffindor, Professor McGonagall, would do if she found them in their current state. Lily knew she had to keep them in her room and since they were still drunk and didn't have a strong grasp of the situation, it wouldn't be too hard.

"_No_, we'll go," Marlene replied tipsily. "We know when we're not wanted. Thanks for letting us crash, though, Lily. It was fun while it lasted."

"Yeah!" Andromeda added.

Too bad as soon as she got up, Marlene fainted and landed on Andromeda who coincidentally landed on Samantha.

They were a big drunken pile again.

Lily grimaced. They were lucky to have her. She brandished her wand and magicked all of them safely unto her large bed and pulled her blankets over themselves.

"_Accio Parchment! Accio Quill!_" Lily muttered. As soon as the materials reached her hands, she quickly jot down a note, telling the intoxicated trio to stay where they are when they woke up, don't do anything _stupid_, and that she would be back soon. She left the parchment floating above their heads so when they woke up, they would definitely see it.

Lily ran to the other end of the room and, grabbing a coat and her book bag filled with her homework, she left. She knew she couldn't stay in her room, what with James next door and her friends passed out on her bed. She just wanted to find a quiet place to do her homework. She didn't want to go to the library; she'd been in there too many times and Madam Pince was annoying as hell. No, Lily needed somewhere new. She needed a tranquil place to take her stress away, somewhere where she could concentrate. Ever since this James Potter and Head Girl business, she found that she had a lot of trouble focusing on her assignments, and now she had a load of homework that seemed, even with a free weekend, to be undoable. She used to dislike him... mostly because he charmed her hair bright pink back in third year. It stayed like that for a little over a week. In fact, the dye in her hair was so strong, it leaked on her face. That was why people started calling her 'pinkeye' instead of 'green eyes'. He set a tarantula in her room fifth year. She yelled at Remus to do something about it, after all he _was_ a prefect, but he just looked amused and kept on reading that stupid Defense Against the Dark Arts book while she was trying her best not to hex James into oblivion.

She still hadn't found her destination. It seemed like Lily was roaming the halls carelessly. Lily turned around, figuring out where she was. Maybe she should make a left turn at the portrait of Sir Wellington on the second floor and then go down the st-

_SMACK_!

Unknowingly, Lily had collided with somebody, and a seam on her schoolbag split, causing all the contents of her bag to pour out.

"_Damn_," Lily muttered under her breath. She looked up to see whom she had bumped into. Great, Severus Snape. "Sorry Snape... I d-didn't..."

"Watch where you're going next time, _Mudblood_," Snape replied beratingly, shooting Lily a look of disgust. His normally greasy hair was ruffled and he looked more murderous than ever.

She shot him a glare. He couldn't talk to her like that! She was Head Girl for Christ's sake! "25 points from Slytherin," Lily replied smugly.

"Like I care. Take off all the points you want, Evans." Snape narrowed his eyes and walked away.

Lily shook her head at his retreating figure.

Severus Snape was quite an unhappy fellow. He didn't care much for school, but had a deep passion for the Dark Arts, which he was fairly good at. Everybody knew that. He had a band of good Slytherin friends who were equally unpleasant, gangly, and creepy. But mostly, he was upset that Lily had managed to upstage him in just about every subject since first year. And the fact that Lily was Muggle-born and hadn't even discovered magic since the age of eleven while Severus was brewing potions since he was a mere three years old, did not ease Severus at all. The never-ending compliments from their Potions teacher, Professor Slughorn, didn't help much either. Especially since Lily was branded into the highly-elite 'Slug Club'. Lily couldn't blame him for being the bitter, angry, hook-nosed, greasy git that he was. Or maybe she could.

She still felt a surge of pride for ridding the Slytherin house of twenty-five house points. Although, most couldn't give a damn about who won the House cup either way, but Lily still felt a tiny bit of pride.

She patched up her bag and was still gathering up her things, when she saw another hand had helped her.

"A git, isn't he?" Sirius Black asked, who was bending down and handed her her Charms book.

Lily was slightly taken aback. It took a moment for her to register and then replied, "Yeah, smarmy bastard he is. But I did manage to take 25 points away from Slytherin." She took her book appreciatively.

"Fantastic," Sirius beamed, looking impressed. He hated Slytherins and the Slytherin house in general, everybody knew that. Sirius Black was bursting with Gryffindor pride and found it his job to hex or curse anybody who didn't agree with him. "Any reason or were you abusing your Head Girl powers? Tell me you're using them for the good and not the evil and that Dumbledore made the right choice when he picked you."

She grinned. "I would never abuse my 'powers', as you call it. Anyways, he called me a 'Mudblood'," Lily answered, collecting the last of her books and stuffing them into her large bag.

Sirius Black was in the same year as Lily, but this was the first time he _truly_ acknowledged her presence or even talked to her. Perhaps it had something to do with James... maybe.

"That wanker!" Sirius exclaimed, looking seriously offended, gathering up her quills. "You should've taken at least 50 for that! That's a horrible thing to say."

"It's fine, I mean, you'd expect it, coming from somebody like him. It's _fine_," Lily assured. Sirius still had a questionable look on his face. "Really. He calls me it all the time, but today, he seemed extra bitter about something." She took the quills from Sirius's hand. Damn, another one of her inkbottles spilled all over. She muttered an incantation to get out the ink.

"Well, I was just about to kill him," Sirius explained gravely, although Lily knew he was joking. She knew enough of Sirius to find him funny, kind, and charming (to Gryffindors, mostly); no matter how angry he got, he would never kill anybody. Not on purpose, at least. He bent down and collected the scattered pieces of parchment. "Vargas had to pull us off each other. Lucky bastard, he would've been worse than dead right now if I had my way."

Lily laughed as she tucked her quills into a pocket of her bag. "He deserves it; no wonder he was so foul. Almost getting killed is no happy matter."

"Yeah," Sirius nodded, handing her a thick stack of parchment.

"Well, thanks," Lily smiled, taking it and putting it in her bag.

"No problem," Sirius said, standing up. "Anytime." He offered a hand to Lily, who gladly took it.

Lily walked off, wondering why Sirius had been so nice to her. He didn't necessarily have any reason to be mean to her, but he didn't really have one to be nice to her, didn't he? After all, he and James were the ones responsible for half the hexes inflicted on people in the school.

James. Another person Lily felt awkward about. She pushed all awkward feelings away and walked off.


	4. A Late Bath

**Disclaimer**: Harry Potter belongs to J.K. Rowling; you know what is mine and what is hers.

**Author's Note**: Uh, I think all the females reading this story will thoroughly enjoy the first scene. ;) This is my favorite chapter so far, but, personally, it was a little hard to write. I hope you guys think it's okay. And I would like to thank my betas for being patient and going through my careless mistakes. Thanks a million, really.

**Lusting the Loathed**

_Chapter Four - A Late Bath_

Chapter Song: Maroon 5 - Secret

"Guess who I just bumped into earlier," Sirius said, as soon as he entered the Gryffindor Quidditch locker room a grueling practice had just ended. Muscles sore and in a less-than-happy mood, Sirius decided to poke a little fun at his best mate about a certain redheaded witch. He carefully placed his beloved and shiny Nimbus 1001 onto the bench. He carefully placed his shiny Silver Arrow, beloved as he would his firstborn, onto the bench.

James looked up and sighed with a dreamy smile on his face. "Now, if you say Celestina Warbeck, I'm going to be _so_ disappointed!"

"Oh, I _wish_, she's _so_ foxy," Sirius replied, sighing, as he took off his Quidditch robes. "But nope, it was Lily Evans."

"Really?" James asked, his eyebrows raised. He, too, took off his robes.

Now, here would be a lovely sight for the girls of Hogwarts to enjoy: James Potter and Sirius Black... after Quidditch practice, sweaty, and _de-robed _already!

"Her bag broke and ickle Snivelly came along and called her 'Mudblood', that bastard. Naturally, I decided to help her. Poor thing, collecting up all those books." Sirius sat down on the bench and stuffed his robes into his locker.

James nodded and looked a little angry. "Remind me to hex Severus the next time I have the pleasure of seeing him."

"Like you need a reason to hex the git," Sirius snorted as he removed his shorts, which he religiously wore under his robes for games and practice because he thought of them as lucky, with nothing left except his black boxer-briefs.

James grinned and put his robes in his locker, safely away from his broom, _also_ a Nimbus 1001, which was the best broomstick that galleons could buy as of now. "Why would anybody need a reason to hex him?"

"Smart girl, though, she took away 25 house points from Slytherin," Sirius said. "_Accio towels!_" Two white, fluffy towels flew towards Sirius, which he caught immediately. He handed one to James.

"Nice and thanks," James commented as he took the towel and took off his white boxer briefs. Naked, he held his towel and headed toward the showers.

"_You're_ being nice, on account of her rejecting you." Sirius sniggered as he nakedly walked over, too, following James.

"She never rejected me," James muttered, removing his towel and placing it on the bench outside. He took off his wire-rim glasses and set them gently upon the towel as he scratched his head and ruffled his hair. "She wants me, Sirius. _Badly_. I can feel it."

"And vice versa," Sirius commented dryly, setting his towel outside his shower. He and James stepped in adjoining showers. "Don't deny it, James, because your libido says so."

"Fine, okay, she's amazingly fit, but terribly mad," James confessed, squinting. The world was now a blur since he wasn't wearing his glasses. "Plus, what kind of example would I set? I mean, I'm the Head-fucking-Boy!" Closing his eyes, he stood in front of the shower, letting the water run down his body. It felt simply amazing. This is what he loved about Quidditch practices. After working his arse off for a couple of hours, taking a long, hot shower was all worth it. Maybe he'd make a trip down to visit the house elves and get some hot cocoa. That would be the maraschino cherry on top of his perfect sundae of a day.

"Or maybe the soon-to-be-Head-Boy-Fucking?" Sirius suggested shrewdly. He lathered his hair in shampoo and ran his hands through his hair vigorously. He'd crashed to the ground a few times (overzealous bludgers, damn them!) and who knows what kind of muck had gotten stuck in his hair.

James grinned. "You never know." As water slowly dribbled down his perfectly chiseled chest, he couldn't suppress a grin. Sleeping with Lily was just one of those fantasies he stuck in the back of his head, knowing it'd be too hopeful and eager of him to actually think it'd come _true_. He rinsed through his hair with shampoo and grabbed the soap, perhaps a little too hard, because it jumped right out of his grasp. "Damn."

"Moving onto redheads, then?" Sirius asked, applying conditioner to his scalp.

James paused as he bent down to retrieve his lime-colored soap that smelled of the fresh scent of pine. He didn't necessarily like Lily for her red hair or her bright green eyes, and _certainly_ not her nasty temper. Maybe it was the fact that he felt like he knew her. He'd been in her room already and thoroughly examined it with his eyes and knew some of her embarrassing secrets. With all her anger exuding out from her, she seemed pure and genuine, not fake. Although James _did_ find Lily to be just a little scary.

"Funny, I always thought you were partial to the blondes," Sirius replied loftily when James didn't answer. He rinsed his hair clean of conditioner, shampoo, or any other remaining muck and moved onto his body.

"No, Padfoot, dearest, that was _you_," James pointed out. "Remember Ariel Fisher? Or Charisma Cooper?" James was ticking off the names from his fingers, and clearly enjoying reminding Sirius of his ex-girlfriends and romantic past. "Julie Steinway? Amelia Terryfoot? Or, ooh, Kate Werbow?"

"Okay, okay," Sirius said hastily. "I don't deny it, I like blonde girls."

"Point proven." James ran the bar of soap all over his toned arms and legs. When he was finished, he noticed some hairs stuck on the soap. James was disgusted. "SIRIUS! Did you use my soap?"

"What soap?" Sirius asked "Oh, the green one?"

"The _lime_-colored one," James corrected. "You used it?"

"Yeah, I couldn't find mine last time so I borrowed yours," Sirius replied.

"Dammit, Sirius! There are all these hairs on it," James said, showing him.

Sirius got out of his shower and toweled himself, waist-down. He shrugged. "Sorry, man. Just wash it off. It's just a couple of hairs."

No longer wanting to wash himself with the Sirius-contaminated soap, James rinsed off all the soap on his body, and got out of the shower. He, too, toweled himself carefully and trudged back to his locker.

"Disgusting," James muttered as he put on a brand new spanking pair of underwear.

"It's just hair, James," Sirius replied airily, already slipping on his regular robes since his underwear was firmly on. "You know you've got a wand."

James stared at Sirius. "Pervert."

"To _clean it off_," Sirius explained hastily. "_Garoffapoz_." He tapped his wand against the lock of his locker. "Garoffpoz" was a strange-sounding spell that protected Sirius's dear broom, the Nimbus 1001, from the hands of other people besides himself. If somebody even tried to attempt to open the locker, Sirius would instantly know and rush down to the locker room and confront the intruder.

"Mhm." James slipped on his robes and slammed his locker shut, after carefully putting his broom in its special spot, lined with red velvet. "_Garoffapoz_." James was equally protective of _his_ Nimbus 1001. Why shouldn't he be, though? It had won him (and the rest of the Gryffindor Quidditch Team) the Quidditch Cup for several years. As had Sirius's.

_And it was going to stay that way, whether the houses liked it or not._ James thought smugly as he left the locker room and headed up to the Great Hall for dinner.

* * *

After an hour or so, Lily had finally found a spot to settle. She'd been there for quite a while already. Her tiny feet were dipped into the waters of the lake as she rested upon a large tree that shaded her from the blistering hot sun. She exhaled, savouring the moment. In a few minutes, she would have to withdraw her feet from the waters, as she had done every few minutes before to avoid being grabbed by the giant squid.

She was in her own version of heaven, her naked feet in the water and her robes lying by the base of the tree, leaving her in only Muggle clothes. She unbuttoned a few of the buttons of her polo shirt and let her hair down, feeling free and playful. It was exactly what she needed after a long day.

She had already finished half her homework, so she was leaving the rest to finish tomorrow. All she had to do was lie down and watch the beautiful colours of the sunset. Lily realized that it was dinner. She gathered all her things, robes and socks included, into her book bag and ran barefoot back to Hogwarts. She was _starving_.

As soon as she reached her seat and set down her things, a familiar voice greeted her flatly, "You're wet."

Lily turned around and realized it was Marlene. Her face looked pale, as if she had been throwing up for the last few hours. _Hmm_...

"Well, good morning sunshine. Or should I say good afternoon." Lily put down her book bag and grabbed a chicken leg.

"Thanks... for letting us crash," Marlene muttered. "Things got out of hand."

Lily raised an eyebrow. "An understatement, but, yes, they did."

"I don't feel so hot right now," Marlene sighed. "Neither do Andromeda or Sam. I don't think they're awake yet, but when they do... ooh, it's going to be hell."

Lily smiled. "What the _hell_ happened?"

"Louis Posen took us out for some drinks," Marlene mumbled. She saw the look Lily shot her. "I know! But Samantha _really_ wanted to go... but wouldn't unless Andromeda and I went with her. She thought he couldn't get _all_ of us drunk. Can't believe Samantha was wrong. _Honestly_... I mean, I just had a few cups of firewhiskey... maybe a shot of vodka here or there." She rubbed her head and sat down. "I've never felt _worse_..."

"Mar, don't worry about it. It's only Saturday." Lily put her fork down and put a sympathetic hand affectionately on Marlene's shoulder. "It'll get better. Go back up to my room and rest. The password is 'mugwump'. There's a dreamless sleeping potion in the second drawer of my vanity. It is in a small purple jar. Make sure Andromeda and Samantha get some too. A drop or two will do it. Crash on my bed and we'll talk tomorrow, okay?"

Marlene smiled a tiny smile and nodded. "Thanks, Lily. No wonder you're Head Girl." She slowly got up and headed for the Gryffindor Common Room.

Lily grabbed some mashed potatoes and ate while thinking about Marlene's words. _No wonder you're Head Girl_. A Head Girl that was a slight alcoholic and was falling for her Head Boy.

She realized that Marlene, Samantha, and Andromeda had probably gotten sick throughout her room. All three of them were on her bed so there would definitely be no space. Before Lily could decide on where to sleep tonight, most likely her couch or a mysterious room fit for needs located on the seventh floor, she decided to go into the enormous bathroom she shared with James, shower, and take a long, nice, hot bath.

* * *

As Lily climbed in the steaming hot water of the bathtub, she sighed in relaxation. The temperature of the water was scorching, but her body got used it to it very soon. There were already bubbles floating in the bathtub and smelled faintly of lavender.

"I think," she murmured to herself quietly, "that I'd like to sleep here tonight." She didn't know who the hell she was talking to, but she didn't give a damn. Lily sunk down even lower in the bathtub. Her chin barely grazed the water. She was lounging lazily and for the second time today, quite comfortable.

A banging on the door... from _her_ side of the room, not James.

"Lily! I need to get in there!" Samantha yelled desperately, smacking the door with all her might.

"I'm taking a bath, Sam!" Lily called back.

"Well, move out of the tub and get dressed! I don't want to see you naked!" Samantha complained through the door. "_Please_, Lily! You have no idea how much I need to use the restroom... and maybe even the shower! I smell like vomit and alcohol!"

Moving was the last thing on her mind. "Listen, use the Prefect's bathroom! It's on the fifth floor, near the Boris the Bewildered statue!" Lily hoped Samantha would be a good dear and _scoot_, because she really didn't feel like getting out of the tub or being disturbed by the sounds of peeing, a shower, or Samantha.

There was a pause at the door and then a loud exhale of exasperation. "Fine! Thanks, Lily! I'll see you later!"

Lily groaned. 'Later' meant she'd probably see Samantha before tomorrow. Samantha was a sweet girl, but not too much on the smart side. For instance, she didn't even know the bathroom door was unlocked. She was like a little doll, so elegant and beautiful, but so damn spoiled. Samantha was used to having things her way, which usually happened, and if she didn't, she'd whine, beg, and complain until she did. But other than that, Lily considered Samantha to be good friend of hers. Even though she seemed like the typical spoiled and selfish girl, Lily knew Samantha would always have her back.

Seconds, minutes, and even hours passed. Lily thought of everything and anything: her life, her friends, and her schoolwork. She was getting tired and her hands were getting wrinkled from staying in the water too long. She shrugged at it, though, because she had a charm that would fix it.

There was a noise at the door as Lily got out of the shower. Andromeda was always smarter than Samantha. Maybe she noticed the door was unlocked.

Unfortunately for Lily, she did not notice the door was unlocking from James' side of the bathroom, and who better to open the door to find a half-naked Lily Evans towelling herself than James Potter himself.

His mouth dropped open as he gaped at Lily. "Oh, hey, Andromeda. It's about time you woke up," Lily said casually when she heard the door open. "I think Marlene is still sleeping and Samantha went to the Prefect's bath –" Lily stopped dead when she saw who it really was. "JAMES! Y-you're not Andromeda..."

To James's surprise, Lily almost dropped the towel in shock. Lily stared at him, clutching the towel tightly; hoping no indecent part of her body was exposed.

Their eyes met. His hazel eyes looked warm and friendly, but mostly amused. He stared at Lily, letting his eyes linger at certain parts of her body as she blushed scarlet.

James was wearing little better than a towel himself. He was in his white boxer-briefs, ready to go take a leak, and his body looked perfect to Lily's eyes. James wasn't too buff – guys who were _disgusted_ Lily – but had nice abs with just the right amount of lean.

James jerked his thumb to the direction of the john. "Um, I was going to take a piss..."

Lily, still blushing, tried to act nonchalant and gestured with a long, sweeping gesture with her right arm. "Well, then piss away, Potter!"

He shrugged and walked toward the bathroom.

This was her chance. Lily quickly toweled herself dry and pulled her clothes--her clothes! Where the hell were her clothes? Lily frantically searched... no, not under the rug. _Not_ in the tub, thank goodness! She wrapped her towel around herself as she got on her knees in desperate search of something... _anything_ to wear.

"Looking for this?" James asked, holding up a very silky negligée. He walked to Lily and they were literally inches away.

Lily swallowed nervously. "Yes, I was... it was my negligée, you see, and I was looking for it, and I hoped it didn't fall in the tub, because of it did, I don't have my wand with my right now so I couldn't correctly do a charm to get it dry and then I would have to go back into my room and get some _more _clothes but I really, really just don't want to go back there..." Lily trailed off. Babbling was a nervous habit of hers. An embarrassing one, also.

Not to be humiliated or put-on-the-spot again, James took another step forward, flung the nightgown to the side, cradled Lily's face in his hands, and kissed her softly on her forehead... and trailed kisses down directly to her adorable pink lips.

The amount of passion in the kiss was unexpected but the kiss itself was everything that Lily _had_ expected. She was caught off-guard, so she couldn't jerk away, but once their lips touched, it was... indescribable. No matter how hard Lily tried, no amount of force could've gotten her unglued from James's lips. It was one of the greatest things that have happened to her and awakened a part of her that has never been alive before. She felt free, like she was flying, and didn't have a single damn care in the world.

Lily, who had been oh-so-tightly clutching her white towel, let go and put her hands around James's neck, embracing him more and kissed him back deeply. He was slightly taller than she was, so she had to stand on her tippy-toes for her to fully kiss him.

James, who was quite pleased, dropped his hands lower to Lily's lower back and pulled her closer. Now, they were fully on each other... and no matter how much Lily denied or lied about it, she knew she enjoyed it immensely.

He knew he developed a passion for Lily. He'd never felt this way for anybody. To him, it sounded a little too cliché for him, but he knew he couldn't deny it. Instead of trying to impress him, Lily tried to turn him off... which just turned him on even more. He loved it when she got angry but loved it even more when she was nice to him. But he definitely loved kissing her the most. It was a little surreal. . It seemed like yesterday she wanted to rip his throat out, but now she was trying to shove her tongue down his throat.

Lily ran her hands through James' messy hair, which she hated, and messed it up even more. She loved the rough texture of his hair and how he smelled like fresh pine. She hooked her arms around James's neck and jumped up, crossing her legs over his body. She had forgotten about her current lack of clothes, and so had James.

Lily hooked her arms around James's neck and jumped up, crossing her legs over his body. She had obviously forgotten about her current lack of clothes, but so had James. He sat down on the edge of the tub, with Lily still in his lap.

Suddenly, he broke the kiss. He knew, with one look down, he would be able to see Lily's everything.

They gazed at each other for awhile. James had never noticed how brilliantly green her eyes were and Lily never knew that James had flecks of gray shining from his beautiful hazel eyes. Lily loved his nose and his thin lips that kissed so brilliantly. James ran his finger along her jaw line, loving the bone structure of Lily's face. They stayed like that for a little while. Lily turned around and looked a little shocked. James wonder why, so he also turned around and saw that Lily's silky negligée, which was under _no_ circumstance to touch water, had been ruined since James flung it into the tub of water.

Carefully, he picked Lily up and set her down beside him, trying not to look at her. He had never fought his urges so hard in his life. But he knew it would be taking it to the next level, a dangerous one, if he didn't.

"Follow me," he muttered.

Lily was searching for her towel, but to her dismay, half of it was in the tub. _Oh well,_ she thought. Better a wet towel than no towel.

She wrung it as hard as she could and covered her naked frontside as she followed James into his room.

She was, once again, enveloped in all the gold-and-maroonness of the room. James had thrown her a button-down white shirt for her to wear.

"Sorry I flung your nightgown in the bath, just put that on," James instructed her, still careful not to turn around. "I won't turn around... I promise." He used this time to 'cool down'.

Lily caught the shirt, still not knowing what to do. She let the towel drop to the floor, staring at James, wondering if he'd turn around. Surprisingly, he kept his ground. She slipped on the shirt and buttoned it up. It fell a few inches above her knees, so nothing terribly indecent was exposed.

"Um... I'm done," Lily said quietly. She smiled when James turned around. "Thanks for the shirt, James."

To James, Lily had never looked more beautiful. She looked a little shy after their first kiss, but so was James. She looked incredibly sexy in _his_ crisp, white-linen shirt and it was even sexier since James knew she was wearing nothing underneath.

"Well, um, I have t-to go..." Lily broke the awkward silence. James's eyes were still fixed upon her. "Marlene, Samantha, and Andromeda are crashing in my room, so I'm going to look for this room I heard about in the seventh floor... come-and-go room or something like that. So, uhh... b-bye." Lily turned around and was just about to leave when...

"Look, Lily. Just stay here tonight." James looked flushed. "The Room of Requirement only shows up if you have a _great_ need of it... and you aren't really going to be searching for it in _that_, are you?"

Lily turned around slowly. She knew she could trust James... but she felt like she couldn't trust herself with him sometimes.

"I'll sleep on the floor," he added hastily.

"Why?" Lily asked, looking curious. "Why are you so nice to me, James?"

He loved it when she said her name. "Because... well, we're going to be working a lot this year, aren't we, Lily? I wouldn't want us to be angry with each other all the time. You know, I contemplated slipping you a little euphoria potion, but then I thought, 'What if I messed up? Lily would not only hate me but Avada Kedavra my arse!', so I didn't."

"Smart boy," Lily answered quietly, walking toward the bed and settling herself down. She looked down at the floor. Sure, it was a dull shade of maroon, but it didn't exactly feel as good as a bed. "Sleep up here with me." She patted an empty spot next to her.

_Surely this isn't an invitation to...?_ James thought quietly to himself. If it was, he'd accept. If it wasn't, he'd be alright, but a little disappointed.

"Just as friends tonight," Lily declared warningly. "_Just as friends_."

"Just as friends," James repeated firmly.

Lily yawned. "I'm going to go to sleep, it's been a long day." She settled in.

"Goodnight, Lily," James responded, turning off his lights.

"Goodnight, James," Lily murmured. She could feel him climb in. The bed, despite it's decorations in maroon-and-gold, was quite comfortable and not at all detestable. Like his shirt, the bed smelled strongly of cologne. It was a deep musk and a scent that Lily had grown to deeply love within the few seconds of smelling it. She had taken numerous long breaths, just to smell it all in. James, himself, smelled different, but just as good. This turned Lily even more on because when a guy smells good... it was incredibly sexy her.

She could hear him breathing. Inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale... they were inches apart. Lily had to restrain herself from jumping on him. If Lily had more energy, she would've, but she felt so tired from being so lazy and relaxed all day, it took it out of her. Funny. Doing nothing makes Lily a tired little girl.

James, on the other side, was focusing on breathing normally, and trying to push out the fact that he had a beautiful girl sleeping next to him who he currently had felt a burning desire for. It was so deep, his heart _ached_ right now... he missed her, yet she was right next to him. Was that even possible?

He deemed himself as crazy.

"Lily?" he whispered softly. He wanted to talk.

When he got no reply, he assumed she had drifted off to sleep. He didn't want to wake her and, soon, he drifted off to sleep too.

But what he didn't know was that Lily was on the other side of the bed... wide-awake the whole time, who felt tired, but oddly enough, couldn't fall asleep... not when James Potter, who she started to feel for, was sleeping soundly next to her.


	5. Morning After

**Disclaimer**: Harry Potter belongs to J.K. Rowling; you know what is mine and what is hers.

**Author's Note**: Katty03: of _course_ you're allowed to swear! In fact, I encourage it. Based by reading this story, you all should know I'm a bit of a pottymouth... eh heh heh. And it is the most _sexiest_ thing in the world when a guy smells good. Goodness, it is. There is _slight_ implications of RL/SB in here, but I don't mean it at all.

**Lusting the Loathed**

_Chapter Five - Morning After_

Chapter Song: The Killers - Mr. Brightside

Lily awoke to a start and wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. Damn drool.

As her eyes focused on the room, however, she realized that the night had not been a dream. The maroon and gold jerked her out of sleep and back into reality. Lily ran her fingers over her lips; they were chapped and dry. Lily hated it when her lips were like that. But they were still the lips that had touched the thin, gorgeous lips of James Potter. She could still feel the impact, the deepness of that kiss she had shared with him. It was jolting. She could feel her body pressed up against James' as she had sat on his lap, naked, and kissed him like she had never kissed anybody before. It had been bloody amazing.

Lily exhaled a small sigh of happiness. Could this mean...? _Does_ this mean...?

Whatever it meant, Lily knew it felt nice. She and James didn't necessarily have sex, but sleeping together, next to each other without doing anything, was rather comforting. It had been nice to know that somebody was at her side, somebody who would protect her while keeping her company at the same time.

She inhaled deeply; realizing the strong, masculine scent that belonged to James was lingering on her shirt – James' shirt. She opened the collar, plunged her nose down to it, and breathed in. It was a wonderful scent of warm musk.

Still smelling the shirt, she got up and walked around his room. She stopped at his large mahogany desk. There were a couple of quills here and there, loads of ink spills and stains, and a picture of two very dashing people in a large silver frame. There was a man with very dark black hair just like James' who had hazel eyes behind his wire-rim glasses. In fact, he looked exactly like James, except his hair was very neat. He had a big smile and looked very friendly. He had his arm around a woman. She had brown hair and large blue eyes. She also looked friendly and happy. Lily supposed these were James' parents. She was glad that they were normal; although James' father worked in an important post at the Ministry, they weren't some stiff, boring couple like the typical Ministry parents.

"Oh, you're awake."

Lily looked away from the picture frame and saw a very disheveled James carrying a large silver tray. He kicked the door close and walked over to the middle of the bed and plopped down the large tray. "Breakfast?"

"Thanks," Lily replied, sitting on the bed and taking a piece of toast. She took a large bite since she was starving.

James sat down, too, and reached toward the tray for... a purple tulip that Lily had not noticed that was one there. He grinned as he tucked the tulip behind Lily's ear in one quick, swift motion. "I thought if I got you a lily, it'd be a little too cliché for my taste since you're already a lily. So I got you a tulip."

Lily laughed. "Thanks, James. You're right, you know. I think lilies are overrated. Only for me, though, because I am one, like you said." She turned from side to side while laughing. "How's it look?"

James smiled; reaching out and tucking a loose lock of Lily's red hair behind her other ear. "Absolutely lovely." She looked like an angel, and James felt like he was on top of the world. He felt like jumping out of the window and soaring through the air without his Nimbus. This morning, he had woken up to a slightly snoring Lily Evans, sleeping in _his_ bed, naked under _his_ shirt, who looked sweet and innocent and totally incapable of the anger he saw habitually on her face. She had been drooling a little bit, and James had found it adorable. He wondered what she had been dreaming of.

She looked so at peace, he found that he could not wake her. Instead, he sprinted down to find the house-elves and gather an extravagant and delicious breakfast for him and Lily to share. It would be perfect. Like a scene from a movie.

As soon as he tickled the pear and entered, his favorite house-elf, Lenny, showed up and asked eagerly, "What is sir wanting today, sir?"

"Hey Lenny," James greeted. He was always polite to house-elves, because James loved them. They were like avid servants who loved to come to his aid. "Well, I have a... friend who I want to get breakfast for. I really like this friend."

Lenny nodded knowingly. "Lenny knows exactly what sir wants! Lenny will get it for you, sir!"

"Thank you, Lenny." James hoped this would be good.

Lenny returned with a huge tray with an array of items. Scrambled eggs, bacon, French toast, a large pitcher of pumpkin juice, and all sorts of other delicious plates of food. James accepted it happily and quickly thanked him.

He exited the painting, whispering a freeze charm on all the food so they wouldn't fall off, and balancing the large tray, ran up the stairs, two at a time, directly into his room.

As soon as he entered, he saw the most beautiful sight he would ever bear to witness. Lily was awake, wearing _his_ shirt, and nothing _but_ his shirt, staring at his desk. And now, they were talking about the most random things in the world while nibbling on French toast.

"I still haven't finished half my homework," Lily confessed, taking a swig of the cool, canned butterbeer. It was a delightful breakfast, but butterbeer made it loads better.

"Finished?" James questioned. "I haven't even started."

Lily rolled her eyes. "I'll never know how you got to be Head Boy. I mean, you weren't even a prefect."

"Prefect? Like they _do_ anything. Remus was a prefect; he didn't even _try_ to stop our schemes. In fact, he thought up most of them. Having access and using the Prefect's bathroom wasn't too bad, either." James gnawed at a piece of bacon.

"That's disgusting," Lily commented, opening her mouth in a mix of horror and nausea. "You look like one of those cheetahs eating their deer after they savagely kill them by biting their necks. So gross."

"I'm _hungry_, Lily. It took a lot of energy for me to cook this breakfast for you, you know." James continued attacking the piece of bacon, which was actually becoming quite disgusting, but amusing to look at. "Damn this... piece of... so hard..."

"Cooked? No, no, no... I'm sure you've had some help from your friends, the house-elves. This is too delicious for any _wizard_ to cook, let alone a witch." Lily started on another piece of French toast while cracking open another can of butterbeer.

James finally got the bacon to be soft enough to chew and swallowed it cleanly. "Evans, you better start paying for that butterbeer, I'm running out. You're drinking my stock."

"Put it on my tab," Lily answered carelessly. "I have a feeling I'm going to start one."

* * *

"Prongs, darling, you shagged her, didn't you?" Sirius smirked as he looked up from a game of Exploding Snap with Remus Lupin, another dear friend of James's. He was sitting in the middle of the dormitory, with Remus across from him. In the middle of the two, were a bunch of cards, ready to explode.

"Yes, dear Padfoot, I shagged her good and hard, just like you've always wanted to me." James shut the door and sat down on Sirius's trunk. There was a loud, deafening _BANG!_ and the cards all exploded everywhere. There were cards everywhere. The beds, trunks, floors... just everywhere. Remus and Sirius shared the room with Peter Pettigrew, another Marauder, Kingsley Shacklebolt, and Frank Longbottom. They were all cool with each other and pretty good friends.

James rubbed his poor ears. He could now hear a very distinct beeping.

"I'm proud, baby. Now tell me what really happened. Ha, I win, Moony! Galleon, please." Sirius stretched out his hand and wiggled his fingers. "Come on, Moony, don't be a cheap arse!"

"Damn you, Sirius," Remus muttered. He ignored Sirius's lingering hand and jiggling fingers and threw a galleon at Sirius unwillingly. It smacked him right in the nose and fell to the ground with a loud thud. He turned to James and asked lightly, "Details?"

The beeping stopped as James moved unto Sirius' bed. He ignored the fact that it was _Sirius's_ bed and lay down on the pillows. He turned to Remus, beaming. "Moony, it was... amazing."

"Amazing? You mean, like... better than Celestina Warbeck?" Sirius asked, his eyes wide. He was still on the floor, collecting all the scattered cards. Since he won, it was his turn to clean up. He looked picked up a card and looked at it very strangely; it had been burned. "Time for a new deck, I guess."

"Better," James replied firmly. "She kind of makes Celestina Warbeck look like a wild boar trying to eat bacon, and you all know how disgusting and hard it is to eat bacon."

"_Celestina Warbeck_? ...BACON?" Sirius questioned unbelievably, dropping all the cards he collected. "Oh, _damn_."

James nodded. "I know."

Remus looked worried as he settled unto his bed, lying on stomach, with _Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them_. "Are you guys going to get _involved_, then?"

"I don't know," James responded, looking away, fumbling with an old sock of Sirius' that was just lying there. "It'd be really complicated. I know I've always said being Head Boy was kind of a joke and insignificant to me, but I really enjoy it." He looked up, his eyes bright. "I absolutely love the thrill I get when I take away points from Slytherin and seeing their faces twist into anger, especially dear Snivelly's. I love the feeling of people, especially Slytherins, to not bug me because I can take away as many points as I'd like. And I absolutely _adore_ the feeling of awarding Gryffindor as many points as I like. I love it when I piss the shit out of Lily, it's so fucking hilarious but bleeding scary at the same time. But I don't want anybody, not even Lily, who is better than Celestina Warbeck, to take that away from me or jeopardize it." He realized what he was playing with and quickly discarded it. Disgusting.

"So true.." Sirius nodded, as he put his sock away. "So true."

"Take away any points from Severus?" Remus asked, still skimming through _Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them_.

"Right before I came here," James replied, smiling brightly. "Getting revenge for Lily, anyways. Highlight of my day, in fact. Okay, second highlight. First highlight was waking up next to Lily."

"Christ, so you _did _shag Lily Evans!" Sirius exclaimed. "Lily Evans, the Head-fucking-GIRL! And how chivalrous of you, avenging Lily like that."

James smiled. "No, we just slept together. Like, next to each other. We didn't touch. It was really nice, though."

"I think Prongs is turning into a girl," Remus commented, looking delighted, as he put down his book. "Which is bad, you know, because he's not exactly pretty, if you know what I mean."

"He's never been much of a looker," Sirius added, shaking his head, collecting more cards. "Unlike me."

James propped himself against a pillow and looked away. "You know, she snorts. And she snores. And drools, but only in her sleep."

"Well, then I guess you guys are perfect for each other," Sirius said, going over and getting them some chilled butterbeer. The Marauders stored _their_ stash in a highly-chilled and very large box in their dormitory. James had a mini-one in his, but it was nothing compared to the one Remus, Sirius, and Peter had in their room. Besides, James barely spent any time in his room, except for sleeping. He usually spent his afternoons hanging out with his friends. He threw one to Remus and James each.

"A match made in heaven," Remus agreed, taking a sip of his butterbeer. "Mmm."

"Oh, which reminds me, Lily drank almost all of mine, so I've got to do some restocking. She owes me like a truckload of galleons. Honeydukes tonight?" James asked, looking happy. "But let's also get some candy this time, you have _no_ idea how much my sweet tooth is aching. Honestly, _no_ idea."

"Mine too," Sirius spoke, rubbing his jaw. He started to very, very carefully build a house out of his Exploding Snap playing cards deck. "I thought I had a toothache at first, which seemed like the most plausible reason, but as soon as I found a smidge of chocolate on my chin, I licked it, and my toothache felt instantly better."

Remus wrinkled his nose in disgust. "Come on, Padfoot. Chocolate from your chin? That's disgusting. Anyways, can't say I'm not up for it. I suddenly had a craving for a Chocolate Frog, and I'm still missing a Merlin, but Sirius's story made me lose my hankering. Oh yeah, where's Peter?"

"Isn't he in the library?" Sirius asked, looking up. He had now successfully built the ground floor of his house... without _anything_ exploding! "And chocolate from my chin is perfectly fine. I think I had a doughnut this morning and it _lightly_ grazed my chin, thus the chocolate being there!"

James raised an eyebrow. "Still, wipe it off next time. Who knows where your chin has been. Why's Peter in the library?"

"Ah, yes. He was complaining about how noisy we were." Remus recalled. "Shame, Sirius and I had buckets of fun."

Sirius sniffed, starting to assemble the second floor of his house. "And we were being so quiet, too."

James laughed. "Since when is Exploding Snap a quiet activity? The game itself is louder than a fleet of bloody jets, for Christ's sake! My ears popped as soon as I came in!"

Remus shrugged while Sirius explained, "We have high tolerance for sound." He was so concentrated, his tongue stuck out.

"We have a high tolerance for _anything_," Remus said, grinning at Sirius. "Anyways, so what happened once you woke up next to Lily?"

"Well, she was still asleep. She was snoring a little bit, too, and drooling. It sounds gross, but it was kind of cute. I thought she was somewhat of a perfect little thing, but she really isn't. Merlin, she looked so _sexy_... she was sleeping in my shirt, you know. With nothing underneath." James exhaled in happiness as he relived the memory of this morning.

"That's extremely sexy," Sirius agreed.

"Definitely," Remus nodded. "Continue."

"She looked perfect," James said, "I didn't want to wake her up, so I went down to find the house-elves and Lenny whipped up this amazing breakfast. I rushed up the stairs and we had breakfast together, on my bed. We talked for a bit, but she had to go and finish her homework."

"That is beautiful," Sirius commented. "So, what are you naming your kids? Here, when you guys get married you can live in this house I'm building for you!"

James laughed. "Honestly, Sirius, we just had one night together and a little breakfast. Besides, once _anyone_ sets foot in that house, the whole bleeding thing is going to explode and collapse. Nothing's going on besides the fact that we need to work together and take down the Slytherins. I'm still having a little trouble convincing her of that, though. She believes in _justice_, or whatever. Fairness, too."

Sirius grimaced. "Not one of _those_... having no pride in Gryffindor whatsoever. Honestly!" He was now on the third floor, hurrah!

"Tell me about it. When she saw my room, I think she freaked out a little bit." James bit his lip.

"Well it _is_ a little overdone," Remus said timidly. "Maroon and gold everywhere. Not a millimeter of another color."

James shrugged. "Can I help it if I have pride for my house? Is there anything wrong with that?"

"Of course not, Prongs. But, it's just... a little _too_ much." Remus slightly cringed.

Sirius smirked. "Well, obviously. But James is so bleeding _obsessed_ with Gryffindor. That's why it's nice, though. Imagine a Head Boy or Quidditch Captain who didn't love his house. Twat."

"Yeah, I know it's nice." James smiled appreciatively. "Glad you don't think I'm a twat, too."

"Nah, only Severus's a twat." Sirius grinned. "I like saying that. Twat, twat, twat. It sounds like _quack_, but not really."

"Well, don't say it too much, especially in front of females. It's not polite." Remus advised.

"Hey, James," Sirius said. "Do me a favor, next time when you're near Lily, say _twat_."

"To accomplish what, get me killed?"

Sirius grinned. "Only if we're lucky!"

"I really _do_ wonder what Lily would do if you said twat in front of her. Oh, the possibilities."

James scoffed. "Who knows. She's capable of _anything_." Speaking of Lily reminded James of something. He grinned. "Hey, have you guys ever heard of a book called _Sheer Desires_?"


	6. Unsolvable Mysteries

**Author's Note**: Finally, an update from me, right? Thank goodness it's spring break for me. I plan on cranking out another chapter within the week, but no promises there. :) I hope you enjoy this one!

**Lusting the Loathed**

_Chapter Six_ - _Unsolvable Mysteries_

Chapter Song: Kylie Minogue - Can't Get You Out Of My Head

"You shagged him, didn't you?" Andromeda asked as soon as Lily quietly crept into her room. She took a long drag on her cigarette. Andromeda was settled on Lily's couch, looking refreshed and radiant, with her long limbs hanging over the side. She raised an eyebrow dramatically. "That's why you were gone all of last night. And most of this morning." She exhaled and a trail of smoke blew out from her lips.

Lily shut the door behind her firmly. Obviously, Andromeda had gotten some good use of her bathroom.

"About time you woke up," Lily replied. "It's been around a day."

Andromeda sighed. "Lily, Lily, Lily. Don't change the subject. I just happen to be a heavy sleeper..."

Lily sighed. "If you must know, no, I didn't. Why does everybody think we're going to shag or have some sort of affair?"

"Oh," Andromeda responded with a surprised look on her face. "So let me get this straight, you _didn't_ shag."

Lily bit her lip as she walked over to the couch. "Worse."

Andromeda sat up. "Oh, really? What?"

She sat down opposite Andromeda on the couch. "We kissed."

"That is so adorable," Andromeda remarked as she took another long drag on her cigarette as she smiled. "The Head Boy and Head Girl dating. So cute, it kind of makes me want to throw up." She grinned at Lily pleasantly.

Lily threw a pillow at her. "Oh, shut up. We're not dating... not even _close_."

"Thank goodness or else I would have been forced to eliminate you." Andromeda grinned.

Lily laughed. "Doubtful, dear... or have you just forgotten? You adore me."

Andromeda chuckled. "True, true. I do love my Lily Evans."

Lily smiled.

"So, what did you do besides snog your brains out? You look too bloody happy for just a long snog."

"Oh, ha-ha, Andromeda. We didn't snog our brains out, mine is perfectly in tact, thank you very much."

She rolled her eyes. "Well, I can see that, of course."

"But something even worse _did_ happen."

"Worse than kissing James Potter? Oh, do tell!"

"He found my book," Lily answered gravely. "_The_ book."

"No..." Andromeda replied in disbelief as her eyes grew big and lowered her hand. "What'd he say?"

Lily grimaced. "That's the worst part. He said it was a _saucy_ book and that he'd keep it between us."

"Do you think he will?"

"No idea." Lily sighed. "I sure hope he doesn't or he's pretty much dead. You know, he probably won't."

"Probably. Isn't he terrified of you?" Andromeda asked.

Lily smirked. "Of course."

"There you go, he'll keep his mouth shut then."

"Well, it's really that I'm worrying about," Lily answered.

She took a quick puff on her cigarette as she squinted her eyes in curiosity and confusion. "Really? Then what _are_ you worried about, Lily?"

"I don't know," Lily confessed, looking down. "The kiss... it was, well, it was great. Beyond great."

"So the rumors _are_ true--he is a great kisser," Andromeda concluded.

Lily buried her face in her hands. "Andromeda, what am I going to do? This is horrible... I can't get involved with him! What if we broke up or something? We're the fucking _Head_ students and we have so many god damn things to plan this year, I just... I just _can't_ get involved with him."

Andromeda leaned forward to put out her cigarette, forcing the butt of the cigarette onto the ashtray. "Well, Lily--you've got to decide. Is the apple really worth the bite?"

Lily twirled a lock of hair and stared deeply into it. The majority were auburn strands but there were also some yellow and brown stuck in there too. Natural highlights from being out in the sun too much, she supposed. "I don't know. Damn, last night was so confusing."

"Agreed," Andromeda nodded. "Remind me to _never_ go out with Louis Posen again or listen to Samantha." She shut her eyes and slowly rubbed her temple. "Worst headache in the history of headaches."

Lily laughed a little, despite her friend being in pain. "Will do, dear. Speaking of Samantha, where is she?"

Andromeda shrugged. "Who knows where that little dear ran off to."

"Agreed... anyways, whatever told you it was _okay_ to go out with Louis Posen _and_ listen to Samantha all in the same night?"

"Because it's that time of the month which makes me a big idiot due to the stomach pains?" Andromeda asked.

Lily chuckled.

She rubbed her stomach and stared at the ceiling. "In all seriousness, I have no idea, really. Maybe because I was just bored."

Lily shot her a look.

Andromeda put her hands up in surrender. "And next time, when I am bored, I will just have to read a book or something."

Lily raised an eyebrow. "Hey, it's what the rest of us do."

"And the rest of us would like to thank you for letting us crash," a voice said from the door. The door shut and Lily looked up and saw that it was Marlene.

"Where were you last night?" Lily asked, crossing her arms. "We were worried _sick_."

"Last night? I was recovering from my hangover, along with Andromeda and Sam. I woke up an hour ago and I just finished breakfast," Marlene replied, grinning. "But I _do_ know you didn't spend last night here but with James instead."

Lily blushed. "Shut up. Andromeda just examined me."

"And quite thoroughly, might I add," Andromeda said, lighting up another cigarette.

Marlene's eyes lit up. "And, the verdict is...?"

Andromeda took a puff. "They kissed last night, Lily apparently likes James, and it seems James may be interested in Lily, but Lily doesn't want to start anything up because the Head Students fucking wouldn't exactly be good news to the staff of Hogwarts."

"Ah. That puts us in quite a pickle," Marlene mused.

Lily nodded. "Agreed."

"Well," Marlene began, "what do _you_ want to do?"

"I'm not sure," Lily responded, "but, for now, I think I'm just going to see where things are going to go."

"There's not much else you really can do." Andromeda took another puff and exhaled luxuriously. "I love these things."

"They're cancer on a stick," Marlene scolded. "You'll die of lung cancer."

Andromeda chuckled. "At least I'll die happy with my cancersticks."

Lily laughed and so did Marlene, despite herself.

Andromeda suddenly sat up and exhaled again. "You know, we should go out and do something. Just the three of us."

"Why?" Lily asked, lying down. "It's such a beautiful day to lounge around and stay inside."

"Come _on_, Lily, don't be lazy," Andromeda admonished. "Get up. We're going to go out and forget about James _entirely_. It's a Sunday and we deserve a break, dammit!"

"Alright, let's go," Lily said, giving in. "I finished my homework, anyways."

Marlene laughed. "Then there's no excuse to not go, am I right?"

"I guess so," Lily replied, shooting Marlene a hesitant smile.

"Don't worry, Lily," Marlene answered, coming over and giving Lily's hand a friend squeeze. "It'll be fun, I promise."

"As do I," Andromeda added.

Maybe a day out _was _what Lily needed. Yes or no, she was bound to find out.

- - -

It was a bright, beautiful Sunday afternoon and James had no intention of wasting it. He strolled down to the Quidditch Pitch, with a quaffle in one hand and his treasured broomstick in the other. He stared up into the sky and saw his favorite weather--large, fluffy white clouds rolling around lazily whilst surrounding a bright, eye-prickling orb of blinding white. He could feel a light breeze, despite wearing all of his Quidditch robes. But, if it got hotter, he could always de-robe. After all, he _did _have clothes on underneath.

James reckoned playing a nice game of Quidditch would make him forget about the unforgettable events that had occurred so quickly the past few nights. He knew that when he played Quidditch, he was focused on the game and nothing else. He needed something to make him forget. Quidditch was it.

"Sirius! Remus! Left!" James cried. "Frank! Kingsley! Right! Mundungus! Center! Up and at 'em!"

James could immediately see four blurs of people up in the sky, racing about. He rounded up as many boys as he could from the Gryffindor Common Room, but he only ended up with five in the end--himself, Remus, Sirius, Kingsley, Mundungus Fletcher, and Frank Longbottom. Everybody else seemed to have something better to do than play Quidditch on a Sunday afternoon.

"Aren't we going to get out the Snitch?" Kingsley yelled. "It's no fun without it!"

"Yeah!" Frank agreed. "Let out the snitch, James!"

James swung a leg over a broomstick and kicked off the ground. In no time at all he was soaring through the sky.

"Sorry, lads!" James shouted back. "It'd be too hard to find the snitch on such a bright day, plus we only have six people! Not even enough for a team!"

"Fine!" Sirius shouted.

It had been divided; Sirius, Remus, and Frank were on one team and Mundungus, James, and Kingsley on another. James, Sirius, Frank, and Kingsley were the only ones on the Gryffindor Quidditch Team, so the teams were evenly divided into two team players and one non-team player. (Sirius was a Beater along with Kingsley while Frank was Seeker).

It was still hard to play, having six players total. Before entering the pitch, the group decided just to throw around the quaffle and practice their keeper and chaser skills.

"I'll be keeper!" James yelled. He usually excelled at the role of Chaser, but today, he needed a challenge. A challenge would make him pay extra close attention to the game, therefore requiring more concentration. He would immerse himself in Quidditch for the remainder of the afternoon, then dinner, then some homework, and then sleep. James was trying as hard as possible to squeeze any thought of Lily out of his mind. Besides, having a little practice as keeper was always good, too, just in case.

"I won't!" Remus yelled.

Everybody laughed. Remus was the smallest in build out of the six and would probably have a hard time keeping the Quaffle out of the goalpost.

"I'll be," Sirius offered, pounding his fists on his chest. "I'm taking it like a man!"

Everyone laughed again.

"The first time ever, too!" James quipped. He felt at ease. Quidditch was his sanctuary, his _safe_ zone. Nothing could distract him from Quidditch... _nothing_. He jerked his broomstick handle up until he was quite high and looked down. Heights didn't scare James, not one little bit. He couldn't understand what was so daunting about them--just a lot of distance, that's what it really was.

"SCORE!" Remus yelled.

James hadn't noticed he had strayed so far away from the hoops. He quickly flew back.

"Sorry, boys," James replied. "Got a little distracted."

Kingsley shrugged. "Who cares? It's just a little game... now, if this was a game against one of the other houses, then you'd be in trouble."

"If this was a game against one of the other houses, I would be guarding those goalposts like a mother guarding her newborn babies."

Kingsley grinned. "I know."

"JAMES, YOU SUCK!" Sirius yelled.

"SOD OFF, WANKER!" James yelled back.

"You are a pretty lousy keeper," Mundungus commented, raising an eyebrow. "Where's that competitive spirit, Potter?"

"Oh, shut up, Gus," James replied irritably. "I'll start trying now. Happy?"

"Very."

Kingsley got ahold of the Quaffle and flew up, trying to somehow pass it to Mundungus who was fighting off Remus. Kingsley couldn't find a nice spot to pass it to Mundungus, so he had no choice but to fly around Frank, who was poor at keeping up with him due to his adapted skill of only looking for the Snitch, so it was easy. He threw the ball as hard as he could throw toward the goalpost.

SMACK.

Kingsley didn't exactly do a great job as it had hit Sirius Black square in the face, right on the schnoz. Blood from Sirius's nose poured out like a dam that just burst open while laughter from everybody else also poured out.

Sirius _hated_ the smell, sight, and taste of blood and immediately flew down. "Damn. Quidditch isn't exactly Quidditch without the fucking Beaters."

"SIRIUS, I'M SORRY!" Kingsley yelled. "I'M A LOUSY CHASER."

"I KNOW. I'M A LOUSY KEEPER!" Sirius shouted back. He pinched his nose and held it back as he left the Quidditch Pitch.

"Well, he's never being Keeper," James remarked. "I'm not either."

Kingsley laughed. "And I'm never being Chaser."

"As well as I," Frank added.

James sighed. "We really should all stick to our strengths, shouldn't we?"

"You guys should," Mundungus replied from below. "That was pretty hilarious, though."

"I'm not really in the mood for Quidditch," Remus said, flying down. "I should really finish my essay for Potions. I'm five inches away from being finished."

"Yeah, me too."

"Me three."

"Me four."

Suddenly, nobody really wanted to play Quidditch anymore. One by one, they all flew down and left the pitch.

James, however, decided to fly around. It was still bright out, plus he really had nothing else to do. He soared higher and higher until he was practically in a cloud and looked over Hogwarts. He could see students rushing about, scurrying from here and there. He could see couples walking and third-years being immature. He also saw something interesting... a girl with flaming red hair who had linked arms with two brunettes, making their way to the Three Broomsticks, for drinks most likely.

James just sat there, on his broom, with his arms crossed and a perplexed look on his face.

How was it that no matter where he escaped to... Lily Evans _always_ managed to find a way to squeeze into his mind?

It was one of those mysteries that would remain unsolvable... well, at least to James... for now.


	7. Another Night

**Lusting the Loathed**

_Chapter Seven - Another Night_

Chapter Song: Madonna - Get Together

The night was fun. More fun that Lily had expected it to be, which was good. They got back at around ten, which was perfect since Lily was tired and they had classes the next day.

All through out the following week, Lily avoided James as best as she could. If there were meetings between the Head Students, she would _only_ discuss current events at school and nothing else. Same with Prefect meetings.

It was awkward, confusing, and hard, but there wasn't much Lily could do. She still had mixed feelings about James, but she decided to keep them buried and only concentrate on the work that they had to do.

Fortunately, the first Quidditch game of the year was set to be on Friday. It was Gryffindor versus Slytherin and the whole Gryffindor Quidditch Team had their minds set on winning the game, especially James. It also helped him avoid Lily, as well, as his mind was pretty much focused on Quidditch the whole week. Unfortunately, the weather was being rather bipolar that week. One day, it'd hail like there was absolutely no tomorrow, the next day, it was so cold, there wasn't even a today, then the day after, the sun came out, shining brighter than ever before. Nevertheless, the practices were long, hard, and painful, but it was going to be _so_ worth it to see the losing faces of Slytherin on Friday.

"All right!" James yelled to the rest of the team. It was the beginning of practice and James was about to dive into one of his famous prep talks. "We're going to win on Friday. _Nothing _can change that. Absolutely nothing. So, when you get out there, give me a hundred and ten percent! Got it?"

The rest of the team nodded, with large grins on their faces.

"And, remember--the team motto?" James asked.

"Faster, harder, deeper!" The team bellowed back. "FASTER! HARDER! DEEPER!"

"Excellent," James replied. "Now, kick off!"

The team did as they were told and flew into perfect formation into the sky. James was the last to kick up and took his place at the middle.

"Release the snitch!" He yelled back down to Tristan Davies, the assistant to the Quidditch team.

A small, tiny fleck of gold hurled its way into the sky.

The quaffle began to move its away around the players.

Bludgers were flying about.

The sun was shining brightly, brighter than ever.

James smiled to himself with delight.

Practice was going perfectly.

It was going to be a satisfying week.

- - - - -

Wake up, eat, classes, eat, classes, eat, homework, eat, homework, eat, and sleep.

It was already a Thursday and Lily could already feel her life settle back into the norm.

She'd been avoiding James all week; a childish thing of her to do, really, when they were the _head_ students in the first place. She knew she'd have to face him sooner or later and might as well just get it over with, but she picked later, because, hey--it was the easier choice.

Besides, she was absolutely _swamped_ in homework. She had never had such a full course load before (on a whim, she signed up for tough classes, trying to end her seventh year academically tough) and she was desperately wishing that she was smarter than she really was. Or smarter than she was giving herself credit for, at least.

"Miss Evans," Madam Pince berated. "The library will be in five minutes." A twinge of sympathy appeared on her face for a rare moment as Lily sighed and started to clean up her own little table. It was so littered with blank parchment, quills, and inkpots that no part of the table was visible anymore.

"Actually, make that fifteen more minutes, Miss Evans," Madam Pince said softly.

As she walked away, Lily wasn't surprised. She knew she had worked herself beyond what was physically possible and now she had the sympathy of Madam Pince; the most oldest, nastiest, meanest librarian Lily had ever had the pleasure of meeting. But it wasn't exactly bad.

As Lily cleared the table and filed away her homework as neat as she could and into her bag, she walked out of the library and headed back to her dormitory, looking forward to going to bed. As soon as she'd reached her room, she'd fling her bag onto her couch, take off her robes, and have a small martini as she dozed off into another world.

She smiled.

It would be perfect and exactly what she needed right now.

The walk back was much quicker now that the halls were so empty. It was definitely past curfew and any students out would immediately get in trouble.

But Lily would have been an exception, especially with the look on her face.

But the look on her face changed as she reached her dormitory.

"Fizzing Whizbees," Lily said promptly.

...nothing.

"Fizzing Whizbees," Lily repeated. Maybe she was saying it wrong. Her bag was weighing down her shoulder so she threw it aside and put her hands on her hips.

"Whizzing Fizbees?" Lily said firmly.

Nothing. Still.

Lily kicked the door out of anger.

It was _her_ dormitory in the first place and how could _she_ be locked out?

Damned password system.

"Whizzing Fizbees!" Lily shouted as she pounded the door with both fists. "Fizzing Whizbees! Fizzing Whizbee! Whizzing Fizbee!"

Still nothing.

Lily was beyond frustrated, but she kept banging and kicking the door as tears streamed down her cheeks.

Her fists began to hurt and so did her feet and she slumped into a messy pile against her door, asking the gods why did life have to be so damned complicated? Couldn't they give her a break?

She was sobbing now, her face and spirits even worse than they had originally been. She knew the smart, sensible thing to do would be to get up and find her pals and ask if she could crash for the night, but she felt that she deserved a crying jag right then and there because everyone deserves a crying jag once in a while.

"Lily?"

Lily suddenly stopped and turned around.

It was James.

Perfect.

James had probably just finished a rather arduous Quidditch practice. He was standing there, clutching his broom, looking tired, sweaty, and ready to have a martini and as he dozed off into another world, just like Lily had been prepared to do.

"James. I'm, er, I'm fine, really. Just got locked out, that's it." Lily got up and began getting her papers into her bag again. They were scattered everywhere. Lily decided right then and there to never fling her bag ever again. It was a very dangerous thing to do.  
James set his broom down and walked over. "Here, Lily. Let me help."

"I don't need any help," Lily muttered as she furrowed her eyebrows, gathering up all her things. "But thanks."

"Hey, I was just offering."

"And I said thanks," Lily snapped. She heaved a sigh. "Look, James. I'm tired and my shit is all over the floor. Let me be."

James also sighed and rubbed his temple. "Look, we're both tired as hell. Why don't you just crash in my room again tonight? It's the easiest solution until you can go ask Dumbledore what the password is because chances are, the door in the bathroom that leads to your room has the same password as your room."

Lily realized he was right. There was no way to get back into her room until she had asked Dumbledore or another professor at least.

She also realized that crashing with James would be one of the most awkward things in the world that she would probably ever experienced but at that point in the night, she was so bloody tired, she just didn't give a damn.

"I have butterbeer," James offered. "Warm butterbeer. It puts you right to sleep."

"Fine," Lily sniffed. "But let's go to sleep _immediately_. No chit-chatting."

"Couldn't agree more," James answered as he picked up her bag. "Pick up those papers and we'll be on our way."

Lily hurriedly cleared the floor of her things and followed James as they walked for a short bit and then turned around a corner.

"Fizzing Whizbee," James said promptly. The door immediately opened.

"Isn't that my password?" Lily asked, confused. "At least, that's what I remember Dumbledore telling me."

"You probably just heard him wrong or something," James said as he threw Lily's bag to one side and his broomstick to the other.

Lily felt herself get enveloped in all the gold-and-maroon-ess again. Only this time, it wasn't so much as terrifying, but it actually felt comforting for once. Or perhaps she was too tired to even feel anymore.

James handed Lily a steaming mug of butterbeer. She inhaled deeply and smiled, feeling ready to leave the world of consciousness already.

"James, I pretty much fucking love you," Lily answered as she took off her robe. She didn't know what it was with James, but she just felt so at ease with him.

"Obviously," James responded as he settled into his couch. "Take the bed."

Lily arched an eyebrow. She didn't want to cause him trouble. "Maybe we should share. Last time didn't work out too badly."

"Thanks for saying that. I wanted to be polite to offer you the bed first." James headed over to the bed and immediately settled in.

"I'm going to borrow a pair of boxers and a t-shirt, all right, Potter?" Lily asked, not bothering to hear his response as she walked over to his wardrobe. "'Kay, thanks."

"You're very welcome," James replied. "Let's just fucking sleep already, okay?"

"Cranky, cranky, cranky," Lily replied. She took a white t-shirt and maroon and gold boxers (might as well match with the room) as she headed into the bathroom. James might have already seen her practically naked, but they weren't exactly together and Lily didn't want him to see her any more. She was surprised neither of them mentioned anything about ignoring each other for almost a week, but they were so both haggardly exhausted, that was probably the last things on their mind.

She whipped off her school clothes and into James's clothing which hung loose on her frame. She inhaled his masculine scent patchouli noir and what seemed to be wood. Probably from his broomstick which was now lying lifelessly on the ground. Lily put it in his wardrobe, just in case, because she knew that it was something of special important to him.

"Are you done changing?" James asked.

"Whoa, I thought you were asleep," Lily responded, a little surprised.

"No, waiting," James said. "I need to shower. I probably have around five layers of thick sweat covering me."

Lily laughed. "Sounds like you smell good. I'm done. Go."

James headed to the bathroom and eyed her on the way. "Nice boxers."

"Thanks."

"Those are my favorite."

"I'm shocked."

James gave Lily a slight grin as he closed the bathroom door and turned on the shower. He knew they were in a weird place right now but it felt nice that they were acting friendly with each other and not completely ignoring each other as they had for the past week.

Lily, meanwhile, sipped her warm butterbeer slowly as she tied up her hair and settled into bed. It was finally the end of what seemed like the longest day in her entire life.

She was also rather thankful that James took her in. God knows that his bed was about a million more times comfortable than any old bed in a dormitory, even though it was completely maroon and gold. She felt like she was a princess of a maroon and gold kingdom.

She kind of was, in a way, if you thought about it. Head Girl. Gryffindor House.

Lily began to doze off, her thoughts mixing together, and enjoying how at ease and satisfied she currently felt. But the lights were so bright, even as she closed her eyes, she felt their presence.

The bathroom door clicked open and Lily sleepily looked up. "You done? Let's close the lights."

Lily suddenly realized James was topless. And wearing a towel. A small white one. "Hold on, let me just put my pants on."

Lily's eyes stayed glued to his body. She had already seen him topless before, but it was still rather exciting. She suddenly knew why so many girls ogled him. But she wasn't about to become one of them. He also had quite nice shoulders, Lily noticed. Broad, but not too broad. They were just right.

"Put a shirt on, Potter, you're ruining my virgin eyes!" Lily complained, rubbing her eyes.

James laughed. "You've already seen me without a shirt on, Lily."

"True, but I just opened them. They're virgins!" Lily insisted.

"Well, sorry, I popped your eye cherry."

Lily laughed. They didn't make any sense whatsoever.

James went into the bathroom again and emerged in black briefs. Lily peeked again and he looked even more extraordinary this time. He hadn't toweled himself off too well so his hair was still wet and sticking in every direction (as usual) but the wetness gave his hair a sort of spiky quality it usually lacked. His chest was still a bit wet, which made him seem even more attractive than ever and his abs were looking better than last time.

"Quite a sight, huh?" James asked, grinning.

Lily blushed but remained confident. "I've seen better. _Way _better."

"By the way you were watching me, I'm sure."

"Shut up. You better be."

"Oh, don't worry. I am." James climbed into bed.

"Nice briefs," Lily commented.

"Why, thank you."

"I figured you a boxers man."

"I'm more of a sometimes-boxers-sometimes-briefs guy." James shrugged. "Depends how I'm feeling. Now let's sleep."

Lily finished the rest of her butterbeer in a few hungry gulps. She immediately felt warm and a little woozy. Perfect.

"Turn off the lights, Potter."

"That means I have to get up and get my wand."

"Precisely."

"...damn you." James got up and got his wand and whispered a few words.

Darkness.

"Better," Lily commented approvingly. "Good night, James."

"Goodnight, Miss Lily," James replied.

They both settled in their respective spots and they both felt very comfortable.

Lily felt like this is what married life would be like with James. Except for the sex part. If they even were to have sex if they got married.

It actually wasn't too bad.

The whole room smelled like James. The smell of the patchouli noir and wood was around the whole room and especially in his sheets.

Meanwhile, James wondered how Lily was sleeping in his bed for the second time and absolutely _nothing_ had happened besides a little harmless flirting. But then again, he did realize what was at stake if something were to truly happen. He wanted her, sure, but he didn't want to take a chance on ruining their relationship professionally.

It actually was kind of nice. Sleeping next to each other without actually having to be _sleeping_ with each other.

Probably different than what they both were used to.

But deep down inside, both were content with what they currently had with each other and what they had right now.


	8. Just friends or not?

**Lusting the Loathed**

_Chapter Eight - Just Friends. Or not?_

Chapter Song: Snow Patrol - Hands Open

Lily tossed and turned until she could find a comfortable spot. Too bad she couldn't.

"Can't sleep either, huh?" James asked from the other side of the bed. "_Lumos_."

The brightness hurt Lily's eye for a second but as James put down his wand as a barrier between them and as a light, she slowly turned towards James who was learning on a propped up pillow. "Guilty. You?"

"Me neither. I don't know why. I just am. Sometimes I think I suffer from insomnia," James said.

Lily nodded. "I know what you mean. Sometimes I stay up all night just finishing my homework. Or writing."

"I do that sometimes, too," James laughed. "But other times, I just can't sleep, no matter how long I stare off into darkness. What do you write?"

"Mostly in my journal," Lily replied. "How my day went, little things. You have a journal too?"

"Yes, but sometimes I write... poems," James finished lamely, looking a little embarassed.

Lily laughed. She never pictured James as a poet. "Poems? That's... random."

"It helps. I usually fall asleep writing. It's... soothing." James said.

Lily nodded. "It is."

"I've tried everything else. Milk, St. John's wort... everything."

"Me too. But I can fall asleep sometimes."

"Yeah, I need to too. Sometimes I just drink a sleeping potion if I have a Quidditch game. But I don't want to become dependent on them."

"Same here. I've seen what it does to the most normal people."

"Yeah. It's hard though. I mean, for me, even counting sheep or cows doesn't help, really," James continued, furrowing his eyebrows in realization. "Damn, maybe I need to be psychoanalyzed or something... therapy, I think. A psychologist. A good couple thousand galleons to find out what my problem is."

Lily laughed. "Maybe. You never know."

"Psychology is bullshit."

"Perhaps."

"They just get paid to sit there to listen people whine about their problems."

"It's a rip-off, really. Friends do that for free."

James laughed. "That's true. We probably all owe each other thousands if we were all psychologists."

"That'd be an interesting world."

There was a pause.

An awkward pause.

"James," Lily said, interrupting his train of thought.

He snapped out of it and looked up. "Yes?"

"Are we ever going to talk about... well, you know?" Lily questioned awkardly as she looked down. She fumbled with the the corner of her pillow, running her fingers along the seams.

"About what?" James replied.

"_You_ know," Lily said rather strainedly.

"No, I really don't. Please, feel free to fill me in, though."

"About what happened in the bathroom. Our bathroom."

No answer.

"The _kiss_," Lily whispered.

James laughed. "I actually did know what you were talking about, but it was so funny to have you come out and say it. I just couldn't help myself. Sorry."

Lily groaned. "Shut up, James. Let's just talk about it."

"All right. What is there to talk about? It was just a kiss." James shrugged.

"So you didn't feel anything?" Lily asked, dead-panned.

"It _was_ weird how we're the Head Students, I guess. We're supposed to be setting the example."

"I agree. But it's not like we're romantically _involved._" Lily stared at the ceiling.

James was facing Lily now as he rested his head on his fist. "Would that be a different story, then?"

Lily shook her head and gave James a long look. "That'd be our business. Look, I just want to be friends, James. Let's try to do that, shall we?"

The words rung in Lily's ears. _I just want to be friends, James. _Was that really what she wanted?

James looked hesitant and looked down, circling the design on his sheets with his pointer finger. "If that's what you want, Lily, fine. We can be friends. That'd be perfectly fine." He knew it was a complete lie, but Lily had just told him very firmly that they were to be friends. He didn't want to push her or make her do anything she didn't want to do.

"Friends," James said firmly, nodding his head.

Lily shot James a small smile. Isn't this what she wanted?

If it was, why did she feel so empty inside?

Ignoring her feelings, she pulled the sheets over her body. "Night, James."

James put his wand away as he softly said, "Goodnight, Lily."

- - - - -

The next thing Lily knew, it was Monday morning.

Lily quickly sat up and noticed it was rather bright outside--morning.

She didn't have her clothes with her... and she was still sleeping in James's room.

She quickly looked to her left and checked the time--it was already eight.

"James!" Lily shrieked, turning to her right and shaking James as hard as she could. "It's already eight! Get up!"

James was quite deep in sleep before Lily screamed at him to wake up, and even after that, he was still asleep. What Lily didn't know that her friend James was quite the deep sleeper.

They day, they were late for their classes. It was a rough day for Lily.

That afternoon when her classes were all over and her homework was finished, Lily quickly rushed up to the Owlery, since she hadn't checked her mail in a week. There were several _Daily Prophet_s, a few bills for magazine subscriptions along with her new issue of _Teen Witch _(finally!), and interestingly enough, a letter from her sister.

_Lily-_

_Mom passed away two days ago due to a car accident. I wasn't even going to write you, but my current boyfriend, Vernon, suggested that I do, calling it "_the right thing to do_". Anyways, the funeral was today, so you can't even come if you tried. We spread Mum's ashes out at Birmingham Lake which she requested. See you in the summer._

_- Petunia_

As Lily read the letter, she stared at it with her eyes widened in disbelief. She half expected it to be a joke, but knowing her sister, she knew that it wasn't a joke because in order for Petunia Evans to make a joke, she would need a sense of humor, and that was something that she definitely lacked.

Lily felt completely numb. How could her mother just _die_ like that? It seemed impossible, especially adding onto the fact that Lily hadn't seen her mother since school started and they lived so far apart during the school year.

But even as memories of her childhood flashed past, Lily held her composure and didn't break down. No, that was for in private only. Where no one could ever see her. She reached into the pocket of her robes and found exactly what she was looking for.

She had a small, small bottle of vodka that she carrier around in her pocket--just in case something like this ever happened. She downed the whole thing in one gulp and felt an immediate rush to her head and a buzz. The bottle automatically refilled, as Lily had charmed it to. In her hand, she had a never-ending supply of alcohol which was exactly what she currently needed--even more numbing to soothe the burning pain that was about to erupt any second within her.

Lily grabbed the rest of her mail and tucked it under her arm as she gulped down another small serving of her vodka. She didn't care who saw her but she rushed back to her room. She said _fizzing whizbee_ about a million more times until she realized she still hadn't asked Dumbledore for a password change for her dormitory yet and she wasn't even wearing her clothes--she was wearing James's. And as infuriating and annoying as it was, she smelled like him all day--not that she minded that much.

James.

They were friends, right? Even though deep down inside she knew she wanted them to be something more, they currently were still _friends_ and _friends_ offered each other moral support in times like _these_.

Besides, it was already around nine, now, so he _should_ be in his room, if Quidditch practice didn't run late today.

Oh, _God_, please let him be in his room. She sprinted to his room and banged on the door repeatedly.

Nobody answered.

"Damn you, James!" She yelled. "Open this fucking door, _right now_!"

As her banging decreased, she slowly slid to the ground in a heap, sobbing hysterically. Her make-up was ruined along with her face. She chugged down another tiny bottle worth's full of vodka, feeling better already. She wiped her tears, snot, and who-knows-what off her face with the sleeve of her robe as she kept finishing and taking another mouthful of vodka. She lost count after fifteen swigs.

She'd never see her mother again. Or her father, but he left when she was little, so it wasn't like she'd be seeing him anyway.

Now, every summer, she'd have to spend it with her dratted sister.

Actually, there were no summers left. She was graduating in less than a year.

All of these thoughts came rushing to Lily at once and began scaring her even more.

She didn't want to think. She didn't want to know. She didn't want to let her mind wander.

The only way to stop her mind from wandering was to drink even more.

So she did. One more swig, five more swigs, ten more swigs.

She lost count. Who gave a damn.

Suddenly, the world seemed a much more happier and funner place. Sure it was blurry and hard to see, but who cares? She felt fucking **great** and that was what was important.

She was just finishing off the national anthem before...

"_Lily_!" A voice hissed. It was James, in his Quidditch uniform, all sweaty, annoyed, and tired. Sirius, Remus, and Peter had nipped off to Zonko's to buy some supplies and James had a homework assignment to finish, so he bowed out. "What in the bloody hell are you doing?"

"James!" Lily cried happily. "I've... mm, I've missed you!"

James could immediately tell she was intoxicated and realized she still hadn't solved her password situation yet. He knew he had to get her into his room immediately before anybody saw her like this. He threw his broom down as well as his equipment as he picked up Lily and promptly said, "Fizzing Whizzbee."

Within the matter of seconds, he managed to get his things, Lily's things, and Lily herself into his room.

He put her on the bed and wondered why she would show up drunk to _his_ room of all places.

"Stay there, Lily," James said firmly as he stepped into the bathroom. He was tired, covered in sweat, and felt disgusting.

Meanwhile, Lily was lying there on his bed, something which she was getting used to doing. It had been her second night there in a row. She was drunk as hell and couldn't comprehend anything besides the fact that she was in James's room once again.

All of a sudden, her stomach was churning and she felt sick. She ran as quickly as she could into the bathroom next to the toilet and hurled for what seemed like forever.

Finally, she wiped her mouth again on her sleeve and headed back, ignoring the fact that James just climbed out of the shower and was currently towel-less. The pain that she physically felt due to the alcohol was nothing in comparison to her emotional pain.

"Lily," James said worriedly as he wrapped a towel around his waist. "What's wrong? Are you okay?"

"No." Lily turned around to face James, her bottom lip quivering. "I'm not, James."

"Why?"

"...my mother died, James. I'm locked out of my room. I'm a complete _fucking_ mess, look at me! My sleeve is covered with tears, snot, and vomit, and who knows what else. I just ran all the way here from the Owlery, holding a refillable tiny bottle of vodka and didn't even give a _damn_ about who or who didn't see me... my mother's funeral is _over_, my sister had her fucking cremated, and her ashes are already spread... and now, I can't ever ever ever ever EVER see her again... so, James, that is what's wrong with me right now." Lily looked down and begin to sob.

James was speechless. "Oh... wow. That's a lot. I'm sorry about your mum, Lily."

"Me too," Lily replied, rubbing her head. She walked back to his bed and took another swig of vodka.

James walked over to her and grabbed it out of her hand. "No more of this. You don't seem like the type to handle alcohol very well."

"Oh, how do you know?" Lily replied sarcastically.

James walked back to the bathroom, put on a pair of boxers and a shirt, and carried Lily into the bathroom.

"Let's get you cleaned up, shall we?" He asked cheerily. He helped wash her face and tied her hair up. She was still wearing his clothes under her robes from the night before, so they were still clean. Only her robes were dirty.

He led Lily back into the other room.

"How did your mother die?" James asked softly. She was still drunk, but he didn't want to be harsh.

Lily sniffed as she rubbed her temple slowly. "Car accident."

James shook his head. "Damned muggle things--never figured them out. I failed Muggle Studies. That's why I always fly."

Lily couldn't help but smile a little bit. It was a James-ism.

"Look," James said, taking Lily's hand in his. "You'll be fine. Your mum... well, she's in a better place right now, isn't she? She's never going to suffer some horrible muggle disease or die because of Lord Voldemort or anything... just be thankful for that."

"I guess you're right," Lily replied. "It's just... I feel so unfinished with--"

"Her?" James asked. "I know. You wish you wrote her more, talked to her more... trying to remember last things you said, last letter you wrote, stuff like that."

"Yeah, that's exactly it," Lily answered, nodding. "How do you know?"

"My mum died, too," James said softly. "Back in fourth year. I miss her loads... but I know... I know she's in a better place." He laughed. "That's about five thousands worth of galleons of therapy to take me to say that. She's in a better place. I miss her."

Lily chuckled.

James looked rather pensieve and Lily felt she shouldn't pry, so she remained quiet.

"Sleep on it," James said, turning to her. "You'll feel much better in the morning if you just sleep on it."

"I hope," Lily replied, nodding.

He gently pressed his lips lightly on her forehead, lingering for just a few seconds.

Lily closed her eyes and took in the kiss. She took in the atmosphere, the feelings, and the way they were standing there, facing each other, connected.

She looked up and bit her lip, staring at James. She began to lean forward, knowing that she was crossing that line between friends and lovers and she knew once she fully kissed him they could never quite be friends ever again--but they would just have to figure that out later.

Their lips met slowly and Lily wrapped her arms around his head as he wrapped his arms around her body. It was a strong kiss at first with Lily kissing James hungrily. She needed to find solace within him and to know that he cared. He kissed her back, his mouth forceful and equally as strong. She kissed James to drown her sorrows, melt her pains, and forget her agony. Kissing James numbed it all and gave her something new to focus on. Their kiss became softer and softer as it made both of them weak in the knees.

Lily jumped up and wrapped her legs around James's body, reminiscent of their first kiss, and James held her as he moved toward the bed. He dropped her down on the bed and they both bounced up, only nothing was funny about it. They were momentarily separated as they stared each other in the eyes.

"I thought you wanted us to be friends," James said softly.

"I didn't know what I wanted--but now I do," Lily replied as she reached out and tore off James's shirt.

James took off his shirt then he reached to take off Lily's. As they begun to kiss again, she reached for the waistband of his boxers... and, well, as they say, the rest is history.

- - - - -

Thanks for all the reviews and words of encouragement. Sorry about this late chapter. I'd had it done a few weeks ago but was down. Then I wanted to edit more. Then my internet got funky. But it's here right now. And that's all that matters.

I hope you enjoy this chapter because the next one will be quite sad.

Feel free to email me your ideas or thoughts or random blurbs about your life. I'd love to get to know you all and how you want the story to go.

delovely.


	9. Out of All The Things to Not Remember

**Lusting the Loathed**

_Chapter Nine - Out of All The Things to Not Remember_

Chapter Song: The Postal Service - Against All Odds

James had never felt so content in his life. He even managed to sleep. A _peaceful_ sleep, too. With no interruptions, like getting up to pee or anything. Nope, none.

Sex with Lily... it was... it was indescribable. Sex itself was amazing, but with Lily, it was just a thousand times greater. It was the most sublime sex of his life. He knew that their new relationship would be somewhat clandestine, given both of their high-profile positions within their school. It would be awkward if it got out. But he was pretty sure it wouldn't.

He stared at Lily who was sleeping peacefully next to him.

He smiled and tucked a loose lock behind her ear.

She clutched at the sheets tighter against her chest. She was clothed now, but just last night, she, Lily Evans, was friggin' _naked_ in his bed! The mere thought of that image sent James an exhilarating thrill throughout his body.

Last night was purely amazing. James had chills just thinking about it. Again, the sex was amazing, but cuddling after was even better. It was getting cold, so Lily put her clothes on and drifted to sleep in his arms, with a light smile playing on her lips. Of course she was drunk and muttering beyond coherence, but James was so euphoric and found her so cute, it didn't matter. He stared at her face, studying it for the longest time as she blubbered on and on about the most insignificant little things. Those lips--vivacious, entrancing, and lovely to the umpteenth degree--kissed like no other and definitely _felt_ like no other lips he had ever come across. Her pearly complexion was contrasted by her fiery-red hair, which was then again contrasted by her forest green eyes, which he currently could not see, since she was sleeping. Her pert little nose just made her face all the more beautiful that it already was. He ran a hand through her hand and kissed her gently on the forehead--the same way he did hours earlier that set off the chain of events that led to their wonderful night--and drifted to sleep. Seeing Lily at such peace was the last thing he wanted to see before sleeping peacefully. He had a grueling day at practice, especially since the Quidditch Game was postponed a week later, but he would've gone to a thousand Quidditch practices for one night like that with Lily. Even with all that, he _still_ would've felt like it was a bargain for him.

It was Tuesday morning and already nine--which meant classes had begun. Fuck. But then again, they had Charms first that day and Professor Flitwick worshipped Lily, so being late would be fine for her. James was always complacent to receive another detention, if necessary. Sirius was gaining on him in this department and James needed to win his title back.

Lily was still sleeping quietly. He didn't dare wake her, but instead, brushed his teeth and got dressed.

He dampened his hand and ran them through his hair, trying to straighten his hair out a little bit. When Lily woke up, he wanted to look... nice. Too bad his hair was too damn unruly to actually look neat. He sighed and had a butterbeer from his secret stash.

Slightly hunched over, with the drink in his hand, he watched Lily. As he watched her, he was also mulling over the thought that the two Head Students had sex last night. The fucking head fucking students. Who were supposed to be setting examples. For the younger students.

But then, as James realized, it was okay. It was okay as long as no one found out. James knew he wasn't going to tell anyone. Okay, _maybe_ Sirius. Maybe. But if he did, which he might not do, it's not like Sirius would be going around and yelling it. Sirius knew how to keep his mouth shut.

He took another swig of butterbeer. What the hell was going to happen when Lily woke up? Was she going to greet him with a kiss and maybe even a little post sex?

Well, if he was lucky.

James smiled at the thought.

He loved how now the possibility of sex with Lily was _actually_ a goddamn possibility. He loved it.

He looked at her and stared at her messy hair strewn over his red and gold pillow. She was perfect. He _felt_ perfect.

They were perfect.

James felt happier than he had in a long time. He didn't know Lily very well, true; but he wanted to. He knew when they began this Head Students business; she was slightly annoyed by him. To be honest, he was annoyed by her, too. It was a big fucking cliché but he loved when she got angry. Oh, he was downright scared all right, but it also turned him on. But most of all, it amused the hell out of him.

He noticed that Lily began to stir around.

_Oh shit_, James though instantly. He quickly ran his hands through his hair and tried his best to look relaxed. What else was there to do after you were supposed to greet the person whom you've just fornicated the night before?

Lily opened her eyes slowly while letting out a big yawn. She stretched out her hands and moved her lithe body under the sheets luxuriously. She looked at James immediately and shot him a smile.

"Lily," James said. "Are you all right?"

Lily nodded weakly. "I'm still alive, aren't I?"

James chuckled. "Yeah."

"Thanks..." Lily said softly, "...for letting me crash."

James grinned. "The pleasure was all mine, Miss Evans."

Lily slapped her hand to her forehead immediately and groaned loudly. "Fuckk!"

"Hangover?" James asked.

She nodded, suddenly sitting up, and squeezed her eyes shut whilst banging her forehead. "Won't. Go. Away. Fuck. fuck. fuck. Never. drinking. again. fuck. fuck. fuck."

James laughed but couldn't help but notice that even though with that weird expression on her face, her matted, messy hair, and fist smacking her forehead, she looked great. She looked like the Lily that James felt for. He didn't want to think _love_ or _fell for_ because he knew he wasn't in love. He was deeply infatuated... which was really the first step to true love, if you think about it.

"God, last night," Lily said, "was a big fucking blur."

James took another swig. "It was great, though. Wasn't it?"

Lily stopped banging and switched to rubbing her forehead. All of a sudden, her chartreuse-pigmented eyes lit up and pain, which was undeniably haunting her face, turned instead into shock and fear. "What was? Oh god, did I tell you something weird about me or something? Oh shit. Did I, James?"

James paused. "No, I was talking about..."

"About what, James? What the hell happened last night?" Lily demanded, her brow furrowed. She bit her lip as anxiety spread over her face and looked extremely clueless as what James was referring to. She wasn't sure if he was pulling a prank or not because he looked honestly shocked. But then again, being the jokester he is, being a great actor comes along with it all.

_Oh._

_Shit._

_Fuck._

_Me._

_Hard._

James was speechless for a good two minutes. His mouth was slightly open, his head tilted, and he started at Lily in confusion.

"James?"

Then it hit him, like the fiery red Hogwarts Express going at 100mph rushing to get to Hogwarts... Lily simply just _didn't know_.

She was too drunk to have even noticed that they had sex. She was too drunk to have even noticed that they had sex. She was too drunk to have even noticed that they had sex. She was too drunk to have even noticed that they had sex. She was too drunk to have even noticed that they had sex. She was too drunk to have even noticed that they had sex. She was too drunk to have even noticed that they had sex. She was too drunk to have even noticed that they had sex. He should've known, after all, she had only about a million drinks.

Wait, but her clothes? James mentally heaved a sigh and slapped his forehead when he realized that she put her clothes back on because it was so cold and that James was already dressed simply because he had woken up earlier than expected. It was really just a coincidence but James supposed it'd be better this way, rather than Lily waking up naked and concluding that James had raped or some ludicrous shit like that.

"James?" Lily asked impatiently, her anguish turning into anger. "Oh god, did we do anything?"

James mustered up all his energy possible to laugh. "Nothing, Evans. God, don't get ahead of yourself."

This seemed to relax Lily and she suddenly sighed with relief. "Good. I was beginning to think we had sex or something last night."

James forced another laugh as he felt his eyes moisten. _We did, Lily. We did. And it was fucking _great

Lily also forced a laugh and shook her head, getting up. "As if _that_ would ever happen. What would people say?"

"I know, right?" James answered in agreement.

"Anyway, I'm going to shower. I'll get the whole password thing sorted out with Dumbledore later--I'm a complete mess right now." She looked at James for a moment and reached out her hand. He took it. He knew she needed him right now, more than ever, as a friend to get over his current crisis. He fully embraced that fact and ignored his own feelings--just for now. No matter what happened, James, above all, would be a friend to Lily. And when you think about it, aren't we all friends in some way? No matter if people are romantically involved or related, the basic foundation of relationships are some sort of friendship. And that is what he would always have with Lily--even if they eventually, but probably not, became lovers.

"James, thanks... thanks for being a friend last night. I really appreciate it." James could now see that Lily's eyes were shining--with tears? Yes. They were tears. Tears of sadness, tears of grief, and tears of loss. Also, tears of gratitude for a friend who had been kind and sympathetic to her plight last night when she really needed it. Yes, Lily would never be able to see her mother again, besides in her memories and in her head, but she knew that James knew exactly how she was feeling inside and that, somehow, consoled her. Another person in this world understood the hell she was going through. It had, after all, happened to him, too. And she appreciated the fact that she could discuss it with James and know that he knew how she felt. It might have not made much sense to an innocent bystander or anyone else, but it made sense to Lily and it also made sense to James.

"Hey, I've been through it. You'll get through it too."

Lily nodded appreciatively and squeezed his hand. "I know." She leaned forward and enveloped James in a hug.

James wrapped his arms around Lily and stroked her hair. Her long, luscious hair that flowed to the middle of her back, which was, in James' opinion, the most perfect length of hair a girl could have. He inhaled her scent--alcohol, tears, and his musk. Sadly, it reminded him not of Lily but more of himself and how he was currently feeling this moment.

He stroked her back and soothingly said, "You'll be fine, Lily. It's going to suck for awhile... and it's going to suck even more. But then it'll get better, I promise."

"I know." Lily pulled back and gave him a watery smile. "She'll always be alive in my memories."

He moved a tuft of hair away from her face and looked into her eyes. "And that's what's really important."

She smiled her tear-filled smile again at James and rested her head on his chest as she closed her eyes and inhaled in his deep, musky scent.

"I know, James. I know."

- - - - -

Lily had already left and classes had begun. Oh, she was brave. Going through the day with a hangover and the death of her mother both mulling inside her mind. The hangover probably wouldn't give her much time to grieve or be sad or think or let her do much else, but that was probably a good thing.

But James was still in his room and even though he was late to class the second time this week, he didn't care.

On the plus side--well, sort of--another detention. Even though Head Boys aren't technically supposed to be the ones _receiving_ detentions--they were supposed to be the ones _giving_ them. James laughed. He sure was a great Head Boy.

When he had started the position of Head Boy, he tried his best to be good. In fact, the detention he had gotten yesterday from Flitwick (apparently in a bad mood, damn) was his first detention of the whole entire year. Which was bloody amazing, considering all the chances he had already passed on to get a detention. Sirius had way more than him and it would be impossible for James to actually catch up. But that was just detention-wise. He was still a full Marauder in every single other aspect.

Shifting the focus back onto his current dilemma, he had just had the most mind-blowing experience of his whole entire fucking _life_ last night and the one person who he could discuss it with, the one person who he had SHARED this intense moment with, didn't even know that they had a moment. And he'll probably never ever have another moment with that person again.

James had never really been rejected or felt the pain of not being with someone before (surprise, surprise), but it wasn't because he was so dashing and popular and good-looking and other bullshit like that--it was because he rarely offered himself up. He did a few times and with those few times; luckily, he was graciously accepted into welcoming arms. He knew it was simply luck and that his heart had to be broken _someday_ but he didn't know that _someday_ was so damn close.

He knew that he _definitely_ couldn't force Lily into anything, but he felt slightly better when he knew that Lily did have something for him. It might not have been a big _thing_ but it was something. From all those nights they spent together in his bed (together!) to the talks they had... he knew that there was still a smidgen of hope for the two of them. It wasn't completely _impossible. _But it would be hard to make it possible.

Her mum just died. She was... actually, _is_ under emotional duress which is something that can seriously fuck with one's judgment--James understood that above all. He decided that, yes, he liked Lily immensely. Yes, she had a _thing_ for him. Yes, they were Head Students. Yes, he was going to back off. Yes, he was going to focus on Quidditch. Yes, he wouldn't lay another move on Lily or let her in his room again. Who knows what the hell could happen when he had a weakness for her and she was under emotional duress. One thing was for sure: the end result, such as last night, would not be good.

He now knew that he had to avoid Lily. It was awkward; he had feelings for her, she probably did, too, but she definitely wasn't going to tell him or anything. Maybe she even saw him as _just_ a friend. After all, she'd called him a friend several times this morning. Plus, with girls like Lily Evans, you could never really know what was going on in their heads.

James decided to let the world be for today. He was going to take a personal day.

Emotional duress, he figured. For him, not Lily, even though Lily was under it--he now was, too. He'd been through a lot today and it wasn't even fucking nine-thirty in the morning yet.

Yes, it was time to take a day off, James decided as he sighed and slumped back into bed.

- - - - -

**AN**: Um, yeah. That was really hard to write and saddening too, because I really love James. You guys all got to see him a bit angsty, which, I think, was something new. And because I'm currently reading _The Catcher in the Rye _which is so angst-filled. So yeah. I've also written some replies to your reviews in your inbox. I'm sorry if you didn't get one, I'm so god damn lazy, lol. Well, I also made a livejournal for this story--in case ever goes down or anything like that. You can check the URL out in my author profile.

Sadly, summer is ending soon. But I'm still going to try my best and update as often as I can because I really love this story to bits and pieces. It's great. I adore it. Next chapter, we'll be hitting the big 1-0! Ten chapters! Wooooooooo. Keep a close eye out for that! And for this chapter, I shall reply to every review :) So tell me anything you'd like and we can chat!

love, Holly (Yes, that is my name!)


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